


A Song as Old as Time

by silver_sun



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alien Culture, Alien Planet, Aliens, Backstory: Jack Harkness, First Kiss, Ianto Jones: Empath, M/M, POV: Jack Harkness, Pre-Slash, Season/Series 01, Temporary Character Death - Jack Harkness, singing ianto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-05-07
Packaged: 2017-11-01 12:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 37,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_sun/pseuds/silver_sun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A chance visit to a bar and the unexpected arrival of an old acquaintance raises a lot questions for Jack and creates a dangerous situation for Ianto.</p><p>Set series one between Countrycide and They Keep Killing Suzie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this story for ages, and there are probably people who saw it when it first started being posted back in 2008 who must have thought that I'd given up writing it. 
> 
> The answer is although its been on hiatus for the past three or so years I'm now writing it again, and hope to have the final part of it posted by the end of this month - March 2012 - as there are only two more part for me to write, and one of them is already more than half written.

It is purely by chance that Jack happens upon the Red Dragon bar, hidden away in a side street not far from the Hub. That particular evening having been spent on a less than successful hunt for a weevil that had taken a liking to raiding wheelie bins for food.

The weather is appalling even by Cardiff’s usual standards and the streets are nearly deserted, with most people preferring to be indoors. With the weevil having managed to escape, Jack decides to duck in the bar out of the freezing rain and wind and consider his options. Either spending the rest of the night hunting down the weevil or calling it a night and going back to the Hub.

Jack is still sat at the bar drinking a soda water, when there is the crackle of a microphone and the noise of a sound system being turned on.

A man, who Jack suspects is the landlord, taps the microphone a couple of times before asking loudly, "Can you all hear me." There is a chorus of yeses and get on with it's from the pubs regulars.

"All right then." He taps the microphone once more and there is another whoosh of static. "I'd like you to put your hands together for our returning guest artist, Ianto Jones."

It takes a second to register. Jack turns and looks towards the small stage that has been set up in one corner of the bar.

Ianto, dressed casually in jeans and tee shirt, and carrying a guitar, walks onto the stage and smiles.

Captivated, it’s not a word that Jack uses that often, but it truly sums up how he, and apparently the other patrons of the bar feel, while Ianto is singing.

The dim light of the pub, the press of warm bodies, the faint smell of alcohol in the air and the way the Ianto’s fingers move across the strings all add to the effect.

Admittedly half the time Jack doesn’t actually know what Ianto is singing about, as a lot of the songs are in Welsh, but the tunes, the melodies, the feeling in his voice, makes it somehow even more magical.

"This last song is called Lisa Lan." Ianto smiles, it’s a little sad and so full of memories and longing. "It’s a song for all those who have loved and lost."

There is no need for Jack to know the meaning of the words, it is clear enough that it is a song of loss, but also he suspects of hope as well.

The tune is achingly reminiscent of one that his gran had loved so much. He closes his eyes and just for a moment he can see her humming softly to herself as she tends the flowers in her garden, a bright splash of colour in the arid bleakness of the coastal desert where he grew up, so long ago and so far in the future.

It wasn’t exactly this song, he knows, but then in the vastness of time and given the limited number of musical notes that the human ear can hear, the chances of two melodies sounding so similar isn’t that impossible.

Set finished Ianto smiles and gives a small bow. "Thank you and goodnight."

There's applause and the barman picks the microphone back up. "Our next act is a new band, who’ll be performing classic rock with there own modern twist." He checks a slightly crumpled piece of paper. "Or at least that’s what they’ve told me to tell you. So put your hands together and give a big welcome to Datguddiad."

Jack’s nervous now, he knows he’s got every right to be in this bar, it’s a public place and it’s not like he followed Ianto here or anything, he hadn’t even known that Ianto would be here. However, Jack’s almost certain that Ianto won’t see it that way. After all if Ianto hadn’t have wanted to keep this part of his life private he would have told them.

Had he told him? Jack’s almost certain that Ianto hasn’t. Then again it’s not like I’ve ever asked him what he does to relax or have fun, is it? Jack thinks a little bitterly.

So before Ianto has a chance to see him and raise any awkward questions, Jack finishes his drink and leaves, pushing his way through the crowd.

Deep in thought Jack walks back to the Hub.  



	2. Chapter 2

Over the next two months, and despite it being against his better judgement, Jack visits the Red Dragon each time Ianto sings. Every time he waits until Ianto is almost ready to begin before taking up position at the corner of the bar furthest from the stage. Then, when Ianto’s set is finished, Jack slips away before Ianto has a chance to notice him.

Jack knows that one way or another it’s got to stop. He has two choices, either he can stop going to the Red Dragon, stop listening to Ianto sing or he can come clean, admit to Ianto that he’s been as good as spying on him.

The problem is that Jack doesn’t want to do either. He doesn’t want to stop listening, doesn't want to stop seeing how alive and in love with life Ianto looks when he sings. Telling Ianto has its own problems though. What if makes their already difficult relationship worse? What if it means that Ianto stops going there to sing? Jack doesn’t want to be responsible for that. There's been enough hurt in Ianto's life without him ruining something that seems to give him pleasure.

He is still debating what to do when he feels a tap on his shoulder and a loud, decidedly un-Welsh voice says, "Jackie boy, I thought that was you. It’s been what? Ten? Twelve years?"

Turning, Jack sees a short, dumpy figure dressed in a far too bright suit with a clashing floral shirt and enough gold jewellery to finance a small war.

"Jubel Panorian, whatever did Cardiff do to deserve your presence?" It’s been far longer than ten years for Jack, not that he’s about to tell Jubel that. He couldn’t even begin to explain it to him if he did.

"There's no need to be like that." Jubel sits down on the bar stool next to Jack.

"There's every need. Last time we crossed paths I ended up naked and tied to a bed."

"Tell me you didn't enjoy it? Those showgirls we were with, the ones with the tentacles, you must remember them. How could anyone not enjoy that?"

"I enjoyed it just fine up until the point where you stole my ship and left me naked for the hotel staff to find the next morning." Not that being found by one of the cleaners had been a bad experience. Jack grins. That young man had been very talented, firstly at picking locks and then at a lot of other things.

"It was an emergency. Anyway I brought it back."

"No." Jack shakes his head. "What you did was get it towed back and dumped outside a club, where I then got a series of parking fines. What had you been doing with it? There were blaster marks all over it and what were those stains on the floor? Because nothing should smell that bad or be that purple." It’s so long ago now that it’s just amusing. It hadn’t been at the time, it had been annoying, and he’d have quite happily handed Jubel over to the authorities and have him pay the fines.

"Can't be just let bygones be bygones?" Jubel looks hopeful. "I’ll even buy you a drink."

Jack pats him on the back, "Seeing as it’s you." It’s so good to see somebody from the old days, he can’t seem to stay mad at him. "What are you doing these days? Apart from bar hopping."

"I'm an acquisitions agent now. All above board for me these days. Well mostly above board." He thinks for a moment. "That it to say that there are quite a few places where it isn't illegal per se."

"Same old Jubel," Jack says with a laugh. "So what are you acquiring here in Cardiff?"

"Anything that'll make enough of a profit to keep the creditors off my back for a few more months."

"Who did you annoy this time?"

"You don’t want to know. Anyway what about you? What are you doing here? It’s hardly your usual place for a scam or is this just a pleasure trip?" Jubel sips his drink. "Although what you could find pleasurable about this place after any length of time is beyond me. Does it ever stop raining here?"

"Sometimes, and believe me, it has its charms." Jack leans back against the bar and watches the stage where Ianto is smiling at the crowd.

"Still thinking with something other than your brain, I see." Jubel looks fondly at Jack and shakes his head, "He sings at the Castle bar as well. That’s where I first saw him." Jubel gestures towards the stage. "Such a voice."

"He has," Jack replies slowly, his eyes never leaving Ianto.

"So you can see why I'm interested in him then. I mean a body like that and the voice, such emotion. But it’s like I've always said, empaths make the best singers, they are so emotive, they can read the crowd, know what they want to hear." He waves the barmaid over and orders another drink.

"Ianto's not an empath." Jack tries hard not to laugh, it’s such a ridiculous idea to his way of thinking. He’d know if Ianto had any form of psychic talent.

"I'm rarely wrong, Jack, you should know that, especially about something that could make me as much money as that young man." He drains his drink and put the glass down heavily on the bar. "So, why are you so sure that I'm wrong?"

"Because he's been tested for telepathic abilities and there wasn't even a hint of it."

"And how would you know that?" He asks questioningly.

"He works for me, I’ve seen his psi test results."

"That's what I mean," Jubel says triumphantly

"That's what you mean, what?"

"You said he was tested for telepathic abilities, probably tested him for pre and post cognition as well, but those sorts of test won't tell you if he's an empath. It'll have all been electronic flash cards and guessing which box a playing card has been in. Am I right? Nothing with an ounce of human connection in there?" Jubel looks thoughtful for a moment, before asking. "So just who do you work for anyway? You always used to be a free agent, so to speak."

"So how would you test him?" Jack ignores his second question. It was bad enough that Torchwood was Cardiff’s worse kept secret, telling Jubel would mean it would become the universe’s worst kept secret as well and he can do without that hassle.

Jubel appears to thinks for a moment before replying, "View people with him, get him to tell you what he thinks those people are feeling. Then increase the difficulty of the test, use crowds of people, get him to pick out those that are happy or sad or annoyed or scared. You'll have placed those people in the crowd, you'll know who they are, so you'll know if he's right."

"Hardly scientific."

"That’s because empathy isn’t a science. You say you work with him every day, surely you must have noticed how he is around people, how their moods effect him."

"No. He keeps himself to himself most of the time." Jack cringes a little as he says it, it makes Ianto sound like some psycho being described on an American cop show, the sort of one where the neighbours all say how nice the guy was, how he kept himself to himself, right up to the point where he went postal and shot anybody who looked at him funny or was wearing the wrong kind of hat.

Jack had always thought that was rubbish, that people couldn’t possibly be that stupid or unobservant as not to notice a killer in their midst. Then there had been Suzie and suddenly it wasn’t so funny any more.

"Avoidance," Jubel says knowingly tapping the side of his nose. "I get that, he’s not been trained, he probably can’t shield all that well, so he tries to avoid people."

"I’m telling you he’s not an empath." Jack would quite like this conversation to be over now, it’s a stupid idea and it making him miss Ianto sing

"With a bit of training he could make himself a.lot of money. I could introduce him too a few people who would only be to happy to take him on."

"He’s not looking for another job."

"How do you know? You don’t seem to know all that much about him."

"Let’s just say that his job and mine are not sort of jobs you can just quit," Jack says firmly. He doesn’t want it to get to the point where he has to tell Jubel to shut up, but if he keeps talking he may just have to.

Jubel doesn’t seem deterred and gestures at the stage, "The Emorians would pay handsomely for him, you know. As would the Verdanii, and probably about two dozen others that I can think of. An unbonded empath like him would fetch good money on the open market these days."

"He’s not for sale either." Jack says warningly. His patience with Jubel on this subject is wearing thin. He came hear to listen to Ianto, not to run into an old con artist with an over active imagination who never seems to stop talking.

"I don’t have that kind of cash anyway." An odd look passes across Jubel’s face, but it's gone before Jack can even begin to understand it’s meaning.

"Can we just listen to him sing? It’s what we both came here to do, wasn’t it?"

Jubel nods and then turns back to the stage, watching Ianto intently.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack is still sitting with Jubel when Ianto finishes his set. Now is the time when he would usually finish his drink and make a hasty exit. But not tonight, he tells himself, as he watches Ianto talking and smiling at the barman who seems to be asking him what he thought of the of the new microphone set up. Tonight is going to have to be the night that he tells Ianto the truth.

But where to begin? He sighs and glances at the door, he really hadn’t expected to have an audience, especially one that won’t hesitate to offer his opinion of the matter. He wonders if maybe he could make up an excuse to Jubel so he can leave and then go and wait outside for Ianto to leave the bar then just pretend to have been walking by.

Jack discounts that idea almost as soon as he thought it. There have been enough lies between him and Ianto without adding to them unnecessarily. Not for the first time Jack wonders why speaking to Ianto about this so difficult. He’s used to thinking on his feet, coming up with plausible and ultimately untrue answers at a moments notice. It’s what had made him first a good Time Agent and later a good conman.

The problem, Jack knows, lies in the fact that in all those situations the only one to benefit from the lies had been himself. He hadn’t thought or cared about the other person’s feelings, reasoning that if they were stupid enough to believe him, then they deserved all that they got. Back then he just hadn't cared.

Then one night over London, oh so many years ago now, his life had changed and now he does care. He cares what Ianto thinks of him, cares enough not to want to hurt him any more than he already has done.

Jack is still thinking when Jubel taps him on the arm, "You all right?"

"Yeah, call of nature. I’ll just be a minute," Jack says quickly, getting up from his seat. It’s a lie, but it’ll buy him a few minutes to try to come up with something to say to Ianto.

"I’ll still be here when you get back. I promise not to steal your ship this time."

"Just as well I don’t have one then."

Jubel looks puzzled for a moment, then smiles and points at Jack wrist computer, "You’re not still using that old thing, are you?"

"Not exactly," Jack says making a hasty exit for the gents before Jubel can continue the conversation, unwilling to let him know that he is, for all intents and purposes, suck here. Sure he’s got enough contacts that should he need to leave the planet in a hurry he probably could. But truth be told right now there really isn’t anywhere else he’d rather be.

Reaching the door, he glances back to sees Jubel waving Ianto over to sit next to him. Giving Jubel a thumbs up in response, Ianto pushes through the crowd, grateful to be offered the only free seat left in the bar.

As soon as Ianto has sat down Jubel begins talking to him. Jack can't hear what Jubel is saying, but from Ianto's expression it is probably amusing.

It’s almost a relief to have the decision taken out of his hands, now he has to speak to Ianto. It’s either that or leave him in Jubel’s dubious company for the evening and risk Jubel telling Ianto his about his empath idea and trying to convince him that leaving Torchwood and Cardiff would be a good idea.

Jubel could be very persuasive when he wanted to be. Jack’s one comfort is the fact that Jubel had always been the moral one by Jack’s standards. Jubel was always the one who’d turn down jobs because too many innocent people might get hurt, the one who’d refused to comply with the data sharing directive on the new Devonian colonies because it was being used to hunt down and kill so called rebels.

So however much Jubel might talk about the money Ianto would be worth he’d never take him anywhere against his will. He might make unrealistic offers of employment, pretend to be Ianto’s manager and promise all sorts of things that he has every intention of delivering, despite the fact that he has no actual way of meeting those promises, but he wouldn’t ever set out to deliberately hurt somebody.

When Jack returns Jubel and Ianto are still sitting at the bar, Ianto no longer looks amused, rather he appears to be furious, although not, Jack notes, at Jubel.

"What’s he been saying to you?" Jack asks, walking over to them.

"Only the truth." Ianto sounds hurt and tired, all traces of his earlier happiness having disappeared.

Jack glares at Jubel. "I told you, he's not psychic or empathic or looking for another job. He's just a cute guy who works for me."

"Because you know so much about me," Ianto snaps before Jubel has a chance to reply. "Or is that what this is about? Do you still not trust me? You could have just asked, you don’t need to spy on me."

"I’ve not been spying on you, it wasn’t like that." Jack puts a hand on Ianto's arm only to find it slapped away.

"Leave me alone."

"Listen, I can explain." Jack wonders if admitting that occasionally he can be a complete idiot would count as a valid explanation or if it would just make things worse.

Ianto scowls at him. "I don't want to hear it." Picking up his guitar he turns to leave. "And I would appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to the rest of the team. Goodnight, Sir."

Jack watches him leave and wonders if there was any possible way it could have actually gone any worse.

"Aren’t you going to go after him?" Jubel prods Jack in the arm. "I thought you were interested in him."

"There’s no point. He’s too angry right now to even listen to me." Ianto did calm and completely furious like nobody else Jack had met. Going after Ianto right now would only make a bad situation worse. No, he’ll wait until the morning.

"I'm sorry." Jubel hands Jack his drink. "Here, I think you could do with this more than me. I thought he knew that you came here to listen to him sing. I mean, you said you work with him. How was I supposed to know you’d been watching him in secret?"

"It’s not your fault." Jack knocks back the drink. There wasn't any way that Jubel could have known, he tells himself. He has nobody to blame but himself. It doesn't make him feel any better though.

Jubel buys them another round of drinks and they talk about old times. The scams, the women, the men, the aliens and all the narrow escapes from various authorities they had managed to annoy one way or another.

Eventually Jubel yawns and climbs a little awkwardly off the barstool. "I must be getting old, I’m going to have call it a night."

Jack thinks he really should have got used to being alone by now, but tonight the craving for company, for the sound of another voice is so strong that he finds himself asking Jubel not to go and he catches hold of his arm. "Come on, you’re not that old and it's still early, stay for another."

Jubel appears to think for a moment before replying, "Why don't we go back to my ship? I've got a couple of bottles of that Parnassian liqueur, the stuff we got back on that casino place we went to out on the Ferullian Spiral." He looks at little distant for a moment, "That was one hell of a weekend."

"It certainly was." Jack shrugs on his coat and follows Jubel out into the night.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s raining again as Jack and Jubel walk along the bay, Jubel still reminiscing enthusiastically about old times. Despite his earlier annoyance at Jubel for making the already awkward situation with Ianto worse, Jack finds himself smiling and joining in with the ever more outrageous stories.

Eventually Jubel stops at a gap in a wire fence that surrounds an area of derelict warehouses and points to the nearest of the buildings. "Ship’s in there, didn’t think it was safe parking it out in the open."

"Why? It’s not like anyone but you would steal it," Jack says jokingly, following him across to where Jubel has pushed open the warehouse door to reveal a small and rather battered spacecraft.

"So this what you’re flying now?" Jack looks at the particularly under whelming Verdani light transport ship.

"She might not look much, but she’s reliable. Well she was up until this morning." Jubel ducks inside out of the rain and begins punching in a series of numbers into a control pad next to the ships door. "I think the last refit I did might have gone a bit wrong."

Jack follows him inside. The interior is as unimpressive as the exterior, the gloomy bare metal and dimly flashing control panels, do nothing to enhance the ambience of the place.

"Getting your hands dirty these days?" The idea of Jubel actually doing any repairs to his own ship is amusing, especially given the fact that the first time Jack had met him he’d been unable to even change a fuse.

"Money’s tight and times are hard, I do what I can." Jubel looks older and sadder than Jack can ever remember seeing him. It doesn’t seem right or fair somehow. Not that much does these days, Jack thinks sadly.

"I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?" Jack decides it's best not to press him for details. If Jubel wants to tell him about it he will, otherwise it’s none of his business.

Jubel seems to think for a moment before answering, "You can take a look at the power relay circuits, if you want. That’s what’s been playing up." He prises off a dented panel that covers a tangled mess of circuitry and wires. "I’ve tried to fix it, but every time I think I’ve got it figured out something new manages to short itself out, and then I have to start all over again."

Taking off his coat, Jack crouches down and looks at Jubel’s attempted repairs. Jubel was, in Jack experience, pretty good at dealing with people and really bad with technology. The intervening years don't seem to have changed that. Inside the panel the wires are twisted over themselves, some hang loose and while others are held together with what appears to be chewing gum. Jack shakes his head and then gets to work.

An hour later, Jack crawls back out of the narrow space under the control panel and smiles. "Try her now."

Jubel flicks a couple of switches and there is a faint hum as the engines start to power up. "She sounds better than she has done for months. What was wrong with her?"

"Apart from the fact that it looked like you’d tried to rewire her with your eyes shut?" Teasing Jubel about his lack of technical ability with anything more complicated than a light bulb had almost become a pastime back then.

"Yeah, yeah, you’re good with your hands, so what’s new?" Jubel says good-naturedly as he switches the engines off again. "You want that drink now?"

"Why not." Wiping oil from his hands Jack sits down gratefully on one of the flight control chairs, glad to be out from the cramped space under the control console. "So are you staying in Cardiff long?"

"Now she’s fixed, I’ll be off in the morning."

"Oh." Jack can’t quite keep the disappointment from his voice. "You’ll always be welcome here. Just let me know when you’re coming and I’ll find you somewhere secure to land." Jack’s quite aware that it's not remotely within Torchwood rules to suggest such a thing, and a few years ago he would have been wary of making the offer. Now however with him and his team making up the single largest active branch of Torchwood, Jack feels able to start making the changes necessary to bring Torchwood into the 21st century and set in on the path to what it one day must become.

"I might just hold you to that." Jubel smiles as he hands Jack a glass.

"See that you do." There are few enough people that Jack is still in contact with from his days as a free agent and fewer still who he would call friends.

Jubel raises his glass. "To simpler times."

"Simpler times." If only you knew, Jack thinks sadly. How his life has changed since he used to run with Jubel, Sidony and his old crowd. He’s not thought about them in years. Everything had seemed so simple then, so easy. Drifting from one job to another, earning money, spending money, living for nothing but the thrill of being alive. Jack closes his eyes and leans back against the bulkhead and wonders just when did everything get so damn complicated?

"Want another?" Jubel has already poured himself a second glass.

"Sure. Why not?" The drink is horribly sweet and tastes like apple juice mixed with maple syrup. Jack can’t help but smile, it brings back so many memories, of him and Jubel getting horrendously drunk on it on Parnassus IX after a particularly good night in the casinos, aided by a very handy probability manipulator.

It’s after the second drink Jack realises that something is wrong. He feels light headed, dizzy. Shaking his head to try and clear it the rooms seems to spin and he clutches at the arm of him seat, waiting for it to pass. He doesn’t drink much anymore, but he knows that there’s no way he should feel like this, shouldn’t feel this drunk and out of it after only a couple of drinks.

It’s getting difficult to think and is an odd taste in his mouth, bitter and vaguely chemical, it’s mostly hidden by the cloying sweetness of the drink, but it’s definitely there and suddenly it all makes sense.

Jack lurches uncoordinatedly to his feet. "You drugged me." He points an accusing finger at Jubel. "Why?"

"I’m sorry, Jack." Jubel switches on a small, electronic device, its display blinks for a moment before showing a location on the outskirts of Cardiff. He shakes his head sadly. "If I could think of another way, I would, believe me."

"That’s Ianto’s house." Jack makes a grab for the device and misses, colliding with the wall. Off balance Jack leans there for a moment, trying to gather his rapidly scattering thoughts, knowing that he’s got to do something and do it soon.

Jubel shakes his head. "I said I was sorry. Don’t make this any harder than it already is." He pulls on a coat and pockets the device before picking up a gun from one of the storage compartments along the wall of the ship.

It’s now or never, Jack tells himself as he lunges at Jubel again, grabbing the gun from him, before taking a step back and pointing it at his old friend.

There seems to be two of Jubel that blur in and out of focus as Jack tries to aim the gun, but he’s not letting that stop him. Instead he just aims for a point somewhere between the two. "I’m not letting you take him."

Jubel holds up his hands placatingly and takes a step forward. "You won’t shoot me, Jack, not after all the good times we’ve had. We’re friends."

"You go after him and all bets are off." Jack clicks off the safety. He’s got to stop Jubel and make him see sense. He doesn’t really want to have to shoot him, he’s buried enough friends over the years without adding another to the list. The dizziness is getting worse and he rubs a hand across his eyes, hoping that he can remain conscious long enough to see this through.

Taking advantage of Jack’s obvious disorientation Jubel grabs his hand and tries to pull the gun away.

The sound of the gunshot is deafeningly loud in the confines of the ship and Jack staggers back, a look of pain and disbelief on his face.

Dropping the gun he presses a hand to his stomach, feeling his shirt already soaking through, wet and warm with blood. A second later the world seems to spin and floor rushes up to meet him.

Stepping forward quickly Jubel catches Jack as he slumps forward, laying him as gently as he can on the floor. "I’m sorry, Jack. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…" Jubel’s hand is shaking as holds it over Jack’s own in an attempt to stem the flow of blood that's now pooling rapidly about them.

"Don’t take him." Jack gasps, he can taste blood in his mouth. He remembers dying like this before, once long ago in the trenches of the Somme. He’d volunteered, tried to help, tried to save as many as he could, but even he hadn’t been prepared for the horror of it and senseless waste of life.

There have been so many people down the years that he couldn’t save and it’s at times like this when he is faced with his own lack of mortality that it weighs heavily on him. He just hopes he can save still Ianto, because if he doesn’t he’s not sure how he’s going to live with it. Or rather he does, because he will have no choice but to live with it and to never forget that he’s failed him.

Everything is starting to blur and grey at the edges and he tries to hold Jubel’s hand tighter, but his body won’t comply. Jack knows it’s irrational to want to hold the hand of the person who has just shot him, the person who is trying to take away the man he cares about, could one day maybe even love, but he hates dying alone.

Jubel seems to understand and holds Jack’s hand tighter as his breathing becomes more laboured. "I didn’t mean for this to happen, you know. You were meant to wake up out there by the bay. You’d think you’d had a heavy night and I’d be long gone."

Jack tries to speak, tries to tell Jubel not to go after Ianto, not to take him away, but all that comes out is a choked wheeze and the taste of more blood in his mouth.

"You’re my friend, I didn’t want to chance you getting in the way." Jubel sounds close to tears. "I never wanted to hurt you." He rubs his free hand across his eyes, "I’m sorry. I wouldn’t be doing this if I could think of another way to pay him."

Jubel is still talking but it is just a drone in Jack’s ears as a familiar darkness claims him. His last thought as it does is that he hopes he revives fast enough to save Ianto and find out why the hell Jubel is doing this.


	5. Chapter 5

The ground is cold and damp against Jack’s face as he revives. He lays there for a moment in the pouring rain, shivering, almost too cold to move. Dying from extreme blood loss combined with some form of sedative is a new one for Jack. In his experience people tended to pick one or the other depending on whether they wanted you dead or not.

Crawling to his hands and knees, his stomach is still aching slighting from where the bullet had hit and presumably still is, as there hadn't been an exit wound, Jack looks groggily around.

He’s been left outside the fenced off area around the warehouse, a spot where in the morning he would have been quickly found. That Jubel has chosen to cover him with his greatcoat is a fact for which Jack is grateful as gets unsteadily to his feet and puts it on.

Reaching into his coat pocket Jack’s fingers curl around cold, hard metal and he smiles, the Webley is still there. It had been too conspicuous in its belt holster to wear in the bar and he hadn’t wanted to be responsible for some safety conscious customer calling out the armed response unit. Now that really would have ruined both his and Ianto’s evening.

He supposes that he could have left it behind in the Hub, although that would have meant going back to Hub and retrieving it if a case cropped up unexpectedly. Something, that depending on the type of case it was, he might not have had time to do. So he'd opted to keep it in his coat pocket instead, hoping that nobody would notice it.

The fact that the greatcoat has pockets large enough to hide the Webley is just one of its advantages. One of the others, Jack notes as he buttons it up, is that it covers all his blood stained shirt should anyone see him.

Jack is half way back to the warehouse when he notices them and he starts to run. He doesn't know how Jubel has managed to get Ianto there and he doesn’t much care, he just needs to stop him before they get on the ship.

“Hold it right there!” Pulling out his gun, Jack levels it at Jubel who is walking Ianto, who is still dressed in the same clothes that he had on in the bar, and coatless despite the near torrential rain, towards his ship. Ianto moves stiltedly, like a sleepwalker, his eyes unfocused and distant as Jubel walks beside him, a hand on his arm.

Jubel’s head snaps round at the sound of Jack’s voice, staring pale faced and wide eyed at him, “How? Y…you were dead. I killed you.” He stammers, clearly terrified at what he is seeing.

“Let’s just say I picked up something on my travels that means death isn’t quite as fatal to me as it would be for you.” It’s a threat and Jack gestures ever so slightly with the Webley just in case Jubel had misunderstood.

“W…what about him?” Jubel is still staring fearfully at Jack as he steps behind Ianto shielding himself against a direct shot. “Is he like you?”

“No, he’s not.” Although Jack is beginning to suspect that there may be more to Jubel’s idea that Ianto is an empath. After all why would Jubel go to all this trouble if he didn’t have some really good evidence that Ianto was?

“Then stay back.” Jubel sounds desperate as he produces a knife and holds it to Ianto’s throat.

Ianto is still strangely compliant despite everything that is going on. Drugged is Jack's best guess, he can think of no other reason that Ianto would let Jubel to hold a knife to his throat without struggling or fighting back. Jack knows how nervous Ianto is now of anything getting too close to his neck, the memories of Brynblaidd cutting far deeper than the villager’s knife ever had.

Jack swallows hard passed a lump in his throat and tries to ignore how cold and numb his fingers feel on the trigger. “Don’t be an idiot. I know you want him alive. He’s worth nothing to you dead. Just let him go.”

“I’ve nothing left to lose, Jack. You’re not going to stop me.” Jubel starts to back away, still mostly protected by Ianto.

"Jubel, I'm only going to warn you once. Let him go." Jack still feels horribly cold and dizzy as he aims the Webley at Jubel, the blood loss and the remnants of the drug in his system affecting him more than he would like to admit. Normally he'd be fairly confident about hitting a target at this distance, but it's taking nearly all his concentration just to stay on his feet and the consequences of missing, of hitting Ianto instead, don’t bear thinking about.

"I can't. I need him." He looks pleadingly at Jack as he continues to back away, Ianto held in front of him.

"So do I." It’s only now with the threat of losing Ianto such a very real prospect that Jack is beginning to realise just how much that need might be. Despite all their difficulties and differences Ianto has rarely been anything other than a professional, calming presence amid the chaos, always providing just what is needed, whether it is a sympathetic ear, an obscure piece of information or a cup of the best coffee in Cardiff, he would always be there. He makes life at Torchwood, and by extension Jack’s life, that bit more bearable.

"No, you don't. You spy on him, you lie to him."

"That doesn't mean kidnapping him and selling him to the highest bidder's the way to go."

"Have you any idea what he's worth?" Jubel steps backwards onto the access ramp of his ship.

"More than you can imagine.” Jack can’t keep the desperation from his voice. “Please, Jubel, you aren't like this, you were never a slave trader or a killer. You don't have to do this."

"There isn't another way, there's not enough time. They'll kill her, Jack. He's going to make me enough money to pay off the Devor."

"If you need money, I'll help you get it. Just let Ianto go and we can talk about it." It’s just words now, anything to stall him, anything to buy enough time for Jack to have the opportunity to take the shot.

"I'm sorry, Jack, I really am." Jubel reaches behind him for control panel, opening the ship’s door.

"Just tell me how much you need."

"As much as class three empath will get me. You don't have that sort of money Jack, you never did."

Whatever sedative Jubel has given Ianto is starting to wear off and Jack can see the panic begin to rise in Ianto’s eyes, growing to become a look of complete terror as he becomes aware that his hands are tied and that there is a blade against his neck and he starts to struggle, trying to twist out of Jubel’s grasp.

It’s the opportunity that Jack has been waiting for and he takes the shot. He doesn't want to kill Jubel, not unless there's no other choice, he's lost enough friends through the years not to have to want to lose another. He also wants some answers, like how the hell had somebody like Jubel been forced to resort to this? Answers that he definately won't get if Jubel is dead.

The bullet hits Jubel high on the arm and he staggers back, the knife scraping across Ianto's collarbone before he drops it and it clatters to the ground.

Jack glares at Jubel. “You try anything and it won’t just be a warning shot.”

Jubel nods dumbly and tries to staunch the flow of blood now running down his arm.

Keeping his gun trained on Jubel, Jack runs the few feet to where Ianto has fallen to the ground in his haste to get away from Jubel. He's panicking, struggling again the restraints that hold his hands pinned behind his back.

Kneeling down beside Ianto Jack pulls him into his arms, trying to calm him. “It’s alright. I’ve got you, it’s okay.” He rubs Ianto’s back and holds him until he stops struggling and he can untie his hands.

Jack fumbles over the knotted cord that is looped about Ianto’s wrists, his fingers are cold and numb, the fact that they are both shivering with the cold doesn’t help.

As soon as Ianto’s hands are free he wraps his arms around Jack and clings to him. “Thank you. I thought…The knife...” He makes a choked noise and holds Jack tighter. “Thank you.”

“Come on, let’s get in out of the rain, you must be freezing.” Jack helps Ianto to his feet before turning back to Jubel.

He’s not sure what he going to do or what would be for the best. He knows that it would surprise his team if they ever knew, they seem to think that he should have the answers to everything, to know everything and be able solve all their problems. Some days it feels like the loyalty that he has from them, as scant as it sometimes is, would disappear completely should he ever admit that quite frequently he has no idea what is going on or what the best course of action might be. Right now though there is one thing he is sure of, and that is that he’s definitely not sorting anything out standing out here in the rain.

“Up.” Jack waves his gun at Jubel, angry and frustrated that he can see no solution to the current situation that doesn’t include Jubel’s death. “Get inside.”

“Are you going to kill me?” Jubel says flatly, as he stands, unable to meet Jack's furious stare.

“Don’t.” Ianto is still pale and shivering as he places his hand over Jack’s and slowly makes him lower the gun.

“He tried to take you away,” Jack says softly, but does as Ianto asks and places the gun back in his pocket.

“Please. He was desperate, he just wants his daughter back.” Ianto steps in closer, still a little unsteady on his feet, he puts an arm about Jack's waist, effectively placing himself between Jack and Jubel. “He’s only doing this out of love. I can’t condemn him for that." His voice drops to a whisper. "Not after what I did.” 

“It’s okay.” Jack wishes he could hold him like in better circumstances. He knows needs to talk to Ianto about this, about Lisa, talk to him properly with no interruptions, demands for coffee or alien invasions, to tell him that he understands and that he’s forgiven him.

Still holding Ianto close, Jack turns to Jubel. “Is that true?”

Jubel nods miserably as they walk inside, “The Devor have got her, my little girl. She’s all I’ve got, Jack. She all I’ve got left of Sidony.”

“The Devor?” Now that was a surprise, the Devor were many things, mercenary, prone to tribal infighting, vicious if you crossed them and utterly ruthless in how they dealt with their enemies. What they generally weren’t though were people, well aliens, who took children hostage.

“I owe them money. A lot of money.” Jubel slumps down into one of the flight chairs, a hand still held tight to his arm. “Sidony was sick and I spent everything I had getting her the treatment she needed. I would have done anything for her. I was stupid, I went to the Devor and I borrowed more than I pay back.” He looks at Jack with eyes red and full of tears. “It didn’t make any difference, she still died. I loved her and she’s gone.”

“I’m sorry.” Jack remembers Sidony from the few of the cons they’d pulled together. She’d been tall, gorgeous and blue. And so fiercely independent that even suggesting she might need help with something usually earned that person a smack round the head. She had been one of the few people that the Jack Harkness charm offensive hadn’t worked on.

“They took Sibel as guarantee, so that I wouldn’t run out on the debt.” He rubs a hand across his eyes, “I’ve got two more days to come up with the money then Grell will put out a bounty on me. I don’t know what he’ll do with her.” Jubel takes a shaky breath and shakes his head. “If it was just me I wouldn’t tried to get the money, it wouldn’t have mattered what they did to me.”

Devor Grell, well now there’s another unwelcome blast from the past, Jack thinks grimly, remembering a city and a war that he had been in so long ago, back just after he’d quit the Time Agency. It’s not a pleasant memory, but it does open up a possible solution to the current situation. "Contact him."

"What good would that do?" Jubel says miserably. "It's not like you can flirt with him into writing off the debt."

"Just contact him. I'll take care of the rest." Jack sits down gratefully in front of the screen, trying not to let either Jubel or Ianto see quite how rough he’s still feeling. He doesn’t want to give Jubel an opening if this goes wrong and he doesn’t want to worry Ianto.

"He's not going to talk to you."

"He will. We go way back, Grell and me." Jack gives Jubel a grim smile. "He'll listen, trust me. Just tell him it's Jack and he wants to speak to him about Telamer."

Jubel still looks unconvinced but starts pushing buttons on the comm unit anyway.

Jack waits and hopes that Grell accepts his offer or he’s all out of ideas.


	6. Chapter 6

Eventually Jubel manages to get the communication device to connect and the screen blinks into life, revealing a room that appears to be part office and part gypsy caravan. In the room, sat behind a desk, is Grell, his scarred, reptilian features and tribal jewellery contrasting oddly with his smart business suit. He stares at Jubel for a moment before speaking, "Panorian, you have my money, I hope."

"Not as such. It's just that..." Jubel begins nervously, hands tensing on the back of his chair.

Grell shakes his head. "No more extensions and no more excuses. You went into this deal with you eyes open, you have two days left to pay in full, or you know the consequences."

"I know, sir, I know," Jubel says hastily, giving Jack a panicked glance, before turning back to Grell. "It's just that there's somebody here who wants to speak with you."

"Tell them I'm not interested." Grell moves to disconnect the call.

"I told him you'd say that, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He says to tell you that his name is Jack and he needs to talk to you about Telamer."

Grell’s eyes widen for a moment, then his shoulders slump, and when he finally speaks his voice not entirely steady. “You’d better put him on.”

Jubel steps back so that Jack has a clear view of the screen, whispering to him as he does, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Jack takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, planning what he is going to say. He’s cold, soaking wet and so very tired, he would like nothing better than to have a hot shower and then crawl into bed and rest. But he can’t, not yet, not until this whole mess is sorted out.

So trying not to shiver too noticeably he begins as confidently as he can, “Long time no see, Grell. How’s life treating you these days? Because it looks pretty good from where I’m sitting.”

Grell’s reaction is better than he could have hoped for and Jack smiles. Nothing unnerves quite like a misplaced smile in his experience, and right now keeping Grell on edge is just what he wants, because it means that there's probably a better chance that he'll agree to what he is about to offer.

“Is it time?” Grell looks petrified and his hands are shaking as he retrieves a bottle from his desk drawer and takes a drink.

“Not exactly. I’ve come to make you an offer.”

“What is it?”

“You write off Jubel Panorian debts and let his daughter go, and I’ll consider your debt to me paid in full. You'll owe me nothing. It’s time that what happened at Telamer was left in the past where it belongs.”

“Just like that?” He sounds sceptical and a little angry. “Why would you do this for him? He is nothing, he's just a small time thief.”

“He’s a friend.”

“He must mean a great deal to you for you to do this for him. To give up such a…” Grell thinks for a moment, before deciding on the nearest translation that he can. “Such an honour debt in his name.”

“I’m not doing it for him.” Jack glances back at Ianto who has located what appears to the ship’s first aid kit and is tending to Jubel’s arm.

It amazes Jack sometimes just how much compassion Ianto still has given all that he has been through in his young life. He knows it may not be compassion in quite the same way that Gwen would see it. She still tends to concentrate on the small scale, to do what is necessary to save an individual and damn the consequences, and sometimes, Jack has to admit, it is the right thing to do. However, sometimes it’s not, and he only hopes that she will learn to tell the difference before something catastrophic happens. He doesn't want to lose her or anybody else because of it.

With Ianto it’s more his ability to put aside his own feelings and do what is best for the majority. There is only one time that Jack think of that Ianto acted contrary to this, her name had been Lisa and it had nearly destroyed him. It had been a nightmarish situation and one from which, Jack suspects, that Ianto is only just starting to recover.

“Well whoever it is, they should be honoured that you would do this for them, they will owe you a great deal in return.”

“He doesn’t owe me anything.” If anything it’s me that owes him, Jack thinks sadly. He can’t help but think that he has failed Ianto so many times, taken him for granted so often.

Grell shakes his head, “I will never understand you humans, and you, Jack, are a stranger one than most, but you honour your word, so I will accept your offer.”

“Then I have your word that you’ll return Jubel’s daughter to him and that she is unharmed?”

“She will be returned and she has not been harmed. She was only ever held as insurance that his debt would be paid. It would be bad for business if we were to damage anything held as security. Who would trust our word or trade with us if we did that?” He seems genuinely confused at the idea that he might do anything that would affect the value of something he could sell.

“So we can come and get her?” Jack just hopes that Grell’s ship isn’t too far out in Devor space, as if it is it could take as much as a week to get there, time which he really can’t afford to spend away from Torchwood and away from the Rift, just in case any other old friends should drop by.

“It's not that simple, my debt to you has to be seen to be paid, you will need to declare it in front of the elders of my house.”

“If I do that what guarantee do I have that you’ll let me, Jubel and his daughter leave the place alive?” Jack runs a hand through his hair, he can feel the beginnings of one of his usual post death headaches starting to throb dully in his temples. He doesn’t want to start an argument with Grell, not when they have all but resolved the situation, but he got no intention of walking straight into a trap either.

“You have my word on it, but only for myself and for my house, but I can’t speak for the rest of the clans. What happened there at Telamer…” He shakes his head, his expression haunted, “My people have long memories and what you humans did there will never be forgotten, and it can never be forgiven.”

There is an awkward silence as both Jack and Grell remember the horror that had been Telamer.

Telamer had been a Devor mining colony on a barren little planet on the edge of Pelagic Expanse. Over time it had grown into a thriving town, prosperous and relatively peaceful until war had broken out.

At the time Grell had been a very junior customs officer in charge of recording the few passengers and commercial transport ships that came to Telamer, and Jack had just been looking for somewhere to lie low after leaving the Time Agency.

The almost complete destruction of Telamer a few hours after Jack had arrived had been an accident and apparently nothing to do with the fact that it made an excellent staging post for further expansion into the Pelagic Expanse. An accident or at least that’s what the Federated Worlds Defence Force who had carried out the attack had claimed in the aftermath of it.

Whether it had been an accident or a deliberate attack for those caught up in the bombardment it had been three days of hell. It had been amid this destruction that Jack and Grell had moved the small band of survivors away from the firestorm and out into the relative safety of the wilderness and caves beyond the settlement. It had been in those three days that Jack had saved Grell’s life and Grell had declared it an honour debt in front of the only one of the town’s elders to have escaped alive.

Jack closes his eyes for a moment, he’s tired and sickened with it all, with the knowledge that no matter where or when you went in entire universe, from the beginning to the end of time, that the only constant was conflict, death and destruction.

But now is not the time to dwell on it and he forces it from his mind, before continuing is negotiations with Grell. “I’ll agree to it as long as it takes place on Aphelion Prime, that way you’ll know I’ve not come in armed and I’ll know the same is true for you.” Aphelion Prime is a trading centre, neutral ground, which has been used for centuries by dozens of races to sign treaties and conducted business with varying degrees of legality, in relative safety.

Grell seems to think for a moment before replying, “That is acceptable. I will expect you and Panorian to be outside the customs house, near Aphelion’s space port tomorrow evening.”

“I would say I look forward to meeting you again, but we both know that’s not true.” Jack is just relieved that Grell has agreed to his deal. He supposes that it must seem like a very fair trade to Grell, especially considering that the price for a Devor owing such a debt was usually to die in the place person they owed the debt to.

Grell smiles faintly. “It will be good to be free of my debt to you at last, I did not wish to pass it on to my sons. I will see you there.” He presses a button somewhere on his desk and screen goes blank.

As soon as Grell is gone Jubel hurries back over to Jack, hugging him as tightly as his injured arm will allow. “I don’t know how to thank you. What I did earlier, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight.” His voice is muffled against Jack’s coat as he alternately thanks Jack and apologies for the stupid way that he’s dealt with the whole situation.

Jack lets Jubel hug him, his hand resting lightly on Jubel’s back. He can’t think of anything to say, mainly because most of the things that he’d usually say under these kind of circumstances, things like ‘don’t mention it’ or ‘you’d do the same for me,’ don’t really seem to apply. And partly it’s because he’s still angry at Jubel for trying to kidnap Ianto instead of just asking him for help.

Ianto. Jack looks round to see him holding a cloth against the scrape on his neck and considering contents of the first aid kit. He’s pale and shivering a little from the cold and his wet clothes, but other than that seems calm despite all that has happened.

Not that Ianto seeming fine with everything is ever a good indicator of what he's really feeling. Jack has learnt that since the incident with Lisa and then again after Brynblaidd, has learnt that Ianto is very good a hiding everything he is feeling. He also knows that keeping all that hurt and fear inside can’t be doing him any good at all.

Jack pats Jubel’s back. “You can let go now.”

Jubel nods and releases Jack, looking a little shame faced. “I am sorry you know, about what happened earlier, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s alright.” Jack stops him before he can mention the shooting, he doesn’t want Ianto to have to hear about it, not yet and certainly not like this. But he does need to talk with him, to make sure he’s alright. “I need a few moments with him.”

Jack knows it’s not the ideal time to have a serious heart to heart with Ianto, but if he waits, if he doesn’t speak to Ianto about this now he knows he’ll keep finding reasons to put it off, to keep telling himself that there will be a better time to do it, that he’ll do it tomorrow. Only there is no such thing as a perfect time and one day they’ll run out of tomorrows and all he’ll be left with is more regrets.

Jubel sits down in the other flight chair and starts looking up the coordinates for Aphelion Prime. “Take as long as you want, this'll take a while.”

Getting up, Jack walks over to Ianto, determined to start putting things right between them before it is too late.


	7. Chapter 7

Ianto looks up from his inspection of the first aid kit as Jack walks over. “Any ideas?” He holds up a small tube, covered with alien writing. “I mean this could be antiseptic or it could be super glue, and I’d rather not find out the hard way.”

“It’s insect repellent.” Letting his fingers linger on Ianto’s hand just a moment longer than necessary as he takes the tube from him, Jack places it back in the box.

Jack hesitates as he picks up the correct tube from the first aid kit. There is so much that he wants to say to him, that he needs to tell him, but he has no idea of where to start. Should he begin by asking Ianto if he’s all right? Or would that just sound stupid? How could Ianto be okay after being drugged, kidnapped and hurt? Maybe starting with an apology would be better, but if he does start with an apology what should he apologise for first? There’s so much to choose from.

Ianto holds out his hand expectantly, waiting for Jack to hand him the antiseptic and leave him to get on with it.

“Let me.” It saddens Jack that Ianto thinks that he cares so little for his well being. He squeezes some of the gel out onto his fingers, deciding to let actions speak louder than words.

Ianto looks like he might refuse for a moment, then wincing slightly as the material has stuck to the cut, he pushes the neck of his tee shirt down just far enough for Jack to see.

The cut is shallow, little more than a nasty scratch and it has already stopped bleeding as Jack starts to apply the gel that he knows will help it heal quickly and scar free. He’s trying to be as gentle as he can, but his coordination is still a little shot from the events of earlier that evening and Ianto gives a small hiss of pain as Jack smoothes on the gel with a little more force than he intended.

“Sorry. You okay?” The last thing that Jack wants to do is cause Ianto any more pain.

Ianto nods wearily and pulls the neck of his tee shirt back up to cover the cut as soon as Jack has finished. “I’ve had worse.”

“That’s not the point.” Jack says gently. He remembers Ianto moving stiffly around the Hub in the days following the incident at Brynblaidd, refusing any help, and but especially his. The sight of Ianto, who had sometimes almost been in tears from the pain, yet still desperately trying to hide it and get on with his job isn't something he ever wants to witness again.

“I’m all right, sir, really.” He smiles, although there is no pretense that the smile and the lightness of his tone it is anything other than forced. “Although the knowledge that somewhere they make suits that hideous as his may have caused untold mental damage.”

Jack is still trying to think of some witty retort that will hopefully get Ianto talking, rather than joking and pretending that he’s fine with everything that has happened tonight, when there’s a rumbling sound and the ship shudders violently.

Off balance, Jack is thrown against Ianto, who wraps his arms around him, holding him close.

“What’s happening?” Ianto sounds fearful, his grip on Jack tightening as the ship shakes again.

“The engines are powering up.” Jack looks round to where Jubel is sitting at the controls.

Ianto releases his grip on Jack and steps back, allowing Jack to storm over to Jubel, his expression furious. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m starting her up, we’re going to have to leave right now if we want to make Aphelion by tomorrow.” Jubel continues powering up the engines, the operating lights on the control console flashing briefly before becoming a steady green glow.

“No, you’re not. Ianto is going home before we go anywhere. I am not dragging him into this.”

Ianto catches hold of Jack’s arm. “I’ve already been dragged into this.” He turns to Jubel. “Do we definitely need to leave right now to get there on time?”

“Yes.”

“Really?” Jack sounds sceptical, “Because I think we could make up an hour or so easily enough. That would be enough time for me to take Ianto home, make sure he’s safe.”

“I’ll be running her flat out to get there on time as it is, Jack. Please, I’m not trying to trick you. You know what the top speed on these things are, you know I’m not lying.” Jubel looks afraid that Jack might stop him, but continues with the pre take off checks anyway.

Jack runs a hand through his hair. He still thinks that a ship like this should be able to get there in less time than Jubel is suggesting. However that’s based on the ship being in good condition, but this ship isn’t in anything like good condition, so Jubel is probably correct. It doesn’t make him feel any better about further involving Ianto in the whole situation.

Jack feels Ianto’s hand on his arm again. “I know you don’t want me with you, sir, but what if the delay caused by taking me home cost Jubel his daughter? I don’t want that on my conscience.”

“Are you sure?” Jack has to stop himself from telling Ianto that the only reason he doesn’t want Ianto to come with them is because he’s scared that Ianto could get hurt. Jack knows that Ianto would take offence at the idea that he was trying to protect him, considering the same as being told that he couldn’t look after himself, something that Jack knows couldn’t be further from the truth.

Ianto hesitates, biting his lip for a moment before replying. “I would be lying if I said that the idea of going into space isn’t little bit terrifying, but this may be the only chance I ever get to do something like this. So, yes, I’m sure.”

“Alright.” Jack tries not to let all the misgivings he has about this whole situation show in his expression. “You can come with us.”

The noise of the engines has continued to grow louder as the ship powers up for take off and Ianto gives Jack a concerned look. “Is it supposed to be this loud?”

“She always sounds like this, it’s nothing to worry about,” Jubel says as he flicks a couple more switches and the ship starts to shake even more. “She’ll be fine once she breaks atmosphere, but until then you might want to hang onto something, it can get a bit bumpy.”

Jack indicates the only spare chair with a nod of his head. “Go on, sit down.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine, I’ve done this more times than you’ve made coffee.”

Ianto gives Jack a slightly puzzled look as he sits down, but doesn’t question what he means.

Standing behind Ianto, Jack holds onto the rail that runs at the back of the chairs. He can see Ianto gripping the arm of his seat tighter as the ship finally becomes airborne, his expression equal parts wonder at the view of Cardiff spread out beneath them and fear that in a few minutes he will be leaving the Earth behind.

The noise of the engines fades as they gain altitude and the effects of gravity on the ship lessen.

Letting go of the rail, Jack leans forward and put a hand on Ianto’s shoulder. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

The ship chooses that moment to give one last violent lurch and Jack is thrown first forwards, colliding painfully with the rail, and then back as he loses his footing and ends up lying on the floor

Winded, Jack lays there trying to summon the energy to get up. Cold, sore and tired, he wonders if Jubel would mind if he just went to sleep on the floor for a while.

“You okay back there?” Jubel calls out, without looking back.

“Yeah.”

“Not so bad? I think you may have spoken to soon.” Ianto sounds slightly amused as he gets up from his seat and holds out a hand to Jack.

Accepting Ianto’s help Jack stands. The rapid transition from horizontal to vertical is dizzying and he sways slightly on his feet until Ianto steadies him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“Are you alright?” Ianto sounds concerned.

“Yeah, just tired, it’s been a long day.” He doesn’t want to lean on Ianto, it hardly seems fair, but telling him he doesn’t want any help not only sounds ungrateful, something which isn't remotely true, it’s also inadvisable, as if he does let go of him Jack’s not entirely sure that he’s going to manage to stay on his feet.

Jack knows that there is nothing wrong with him that a couple of hours rest won’t cure. Just one of the fringe benefits of immortality, he thinks a little giddily. Today is one of the days where he's been glad of it, because he hates to think of how the situation would have panned out had he wasn’t, of what would have happened to Ianto if he hadn’t been there.

“If you’re tired there’s a cabin in the back that you can use. It’s a bit small, but there a bed and somewhere you can get washed up.” Jubel starts inputting the coordinated for Aphelion. “If you want something to eat there’s probably something in the galley.”

“Thanks.” Jack watches Jubel long enough to be sure that the coordinates are correct before letting Ianto help him to the cabin.


	8. Chapter 8

The cabin is as sparsely furnished as the rest of the ship, comprising of just a single, narrow bed pushed tight against one of the walls, some storage lockers and a small washbasin.

Not that Jack minds the Spartan surroundings, his room under the Hub is scarcely more homely than this. He's never seen the point of decorating it or adding any personal touches, not when he might need to leave at a moments notice. That’s what he tells himself most of the time anyway, occasionally though he wonders if it may just be that he's forgotten what a home should be like, its been so long since he's had one.

Slumping down on the bed with a grateful sigh, Jack watches as Ianto takes off his wet shirt and pulls it as much to shape as he can, before hanging it over one of the heating pipes that run along the ceiling of the cabin, to dry. It amazes him how Ianto can still be so methodical, so organised in the face of all that has happened this evening. Although it occurs to him it maybe just those familiar routines, those little bits of normality that allows him to keep functioning when everything around him is falling apart.

He thinks he should probably offer the bed to Ianto, let him get some rest, he’s sure Ianto could do with it. The only problem with that idea is that Jack wants nothing more than to lie down on it himself and try to rest, maybe even try to get some sleep.

Physically he knows that he doesn’t actually need to sleep anymore, that if necessary he can go for days, even weeks without it. Eventually though, he has found, he has to sleep, because mentally the human brain can only take so much wakefulness before it starts to short circuit. So while nightmares are an occasional unpleasant side effect of sleep, the certainty of hallucinations caused by sleep deprivation, means that Jack does try to sleep when he can, and he's found that in the few hours after death and revival is when he seems most able to do so.

They could share the bed he supposes, but it’s small and it would be a great deal more intimate than he thinks Ianto is likely to be comfortable with, and he doesn’t want to drive him away or make things between them any more awkward than they have been.

Jack is still lost in thought when he feels a hand on his shoulder and Ianto, his voice filled with quiet concern, asking, “Are you all right? You’re shaking.”

It takes him a moment to realise that Ianto is correct, that he has started shivering. Now that the immediate danger has passed and the adrenaline has stop pumping, he feels chilled to the bone, his wet clothes like ice against his skin.

“Sir?” Ianto asks again when he gets no answer.

“I’m just cold.” Jack feels a little bit pathetic admitting it, although he knows he shouldn’t, but it makes him feels like he’s somehow letting Ianto down, that by admitting to any weakness he is failing him both as his boss and as a friend.

“I’m not surprised.” Ianto squeezes water from Jack’s coat sleeve. “You’re soaked.” He considers Jack for a moment, his expression a little nervous, before he speaks again, “Come on, let me help you.”

Jack nods wearily, although he’s almost certain that this is a bad idea. Not that he can seem to recall quite why it might be a bad idea, the feeling of relief from the idea that if Ianto is half as concerned about him as he sounds then maybe, just maybe he doesn’t hate him anymore, seems to drown everything else out.

Ianto has already started to unbutton the greatcoat when Jack remembers just why he shouldn’t have agreed to let Ianto help him, but it’s too late, and Ianto catches sight of Jack’s bloodstained shirt under the coat.

“You’re hurt. You should've said something.” Ianto sounds scared and angry.

“It’s not what you think.” Jack tries to pull his coat shut. He can’t believe that he’s managed forget what a mess his clothes are in. He doesn’t want Ianto to have to see him like this, to have him realise that he is just as alien as many of the creatures that they hunt down.

“Just let me see.” Ianto gently but firmly pulls the coat open again, his eyes going wide in horror as he sees the amount of blood that has soaked into Jack’s shirt and the bullet hole in the material.

Panicked, Ianto grabs the shirt, ripping it open, buttons scattering on the floor as he reveals the bloodied tee shirt beneath. “Just lie still.” He tries to push Jack back to lie down on the bed. “You’ll be alright. I’ll get Jubel to take us to whatever passes as a hospital up here. I mean there is something like out here, isn’t there?” He runs a hand through his hair distractedly. “I mean there has to be, doesn’t there?”

“Ianto.” Jack catches hold of Ianto’s hand, trying to calm him. “Ianto, listen to me, I’m not hurt.”

“But...” Ianto gestures mutely at the bullet hole in Jack’s clothes.

Jack hadn’t wanted to explain all this to Ianto tonight, and if he is brutally honest with himself maybe he never wanted to have to explain it to him at all. But seeing the fear in Ianto’s eyes, knowing that he’s the cause of it, means that he feels like has no choice. Tugging his tee shirt free from his trousers Jack lifts it to reveal bloody, but otherwise undamaged, skin. “See?”

Ianto hesitantly touches Jack’s stomach where the bullet wound should be, where it had been before it healed without even leaving a scar. “I don’t understand.”

“I can’t explain how or why I can heal from injuries like this, because I don’t know.” He doesn’t want to say deaths like this, because that’s hard to explain and even harder to understand. He watches Ianto’s expression for a moment, gauging his response, before continuing, “Something happened to me a long time ago and it changed me, it made me…” Jack shakes his head and sighs. It’s so difficult talking about it, there are so many memories, so much pain attached to it, that it hurts to remember. “Actually I don’t know what it made me, maybe one day I’ll find out.”

Ianto still looks rather pale and shocked when he finally speaks, “You should get out of those wet clothes. It still can’t be good for you, sitting around in them like this.”

“You’re not freaked out about this?” Jack feels he has to ask, if only to put his mind at rest that he has not managed to traumatise Ianto any further than he has already been this evening.

“Of course I am,” he snaps, then looks apologetic. “Sorry, I guess it’s just been a long day, what with being kidnapped, taken into outerspace and finding out my boss is some kind of superman.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Jack says as reassuringly as he can. He’s knows he can’t actually guarantee that everything really will be okay, but he certainly going to try to hardest to make it come true.

Ianto nods and gives Jack a half-hearted smile before starting to help him out of his coat.

A few moments later and now stripped to the waist, Jack watches as Ianto fills the washbasin with hot water and soaks a clean portion of the tee shirt in it, before returning to him.

Ianto is about to start washing the blood off when Jack’s hand closes over the top of his. “I can do this myself, you know.”

“I know, but I just need to see that you’re alright.” He looks a little embarrassed, “That is if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” Jack’s not going to refuse, not if it gives Ianto comfort or reassurance.

Jack tries to ignore how Ianto’s hands tremble ever so slightly as he wipes the half-dried blood from his stomach. It would be a lie to say that Jack has never thought about Ianto touching him like this, about his hands moving gently across his skin, about being this close to him and feeling the warmth of his breath against his skin. What those daydreams certainly hadn’t included was him shivering with cold and being covered in blood, those sorts of things were definite mood killers.

Once the blood is washed away and a blanket that Ianto has found in one of storage lockers is wrapped around him Jack starts to feel a little less cold and a lot more able to deal with what is going on.

“Thank you.” Jack places a hand on Ianto’s arm, only to find it is almost immediately pushed away.

“There’s no need, sir.” The barely controlled annoyance in Ianto voice surprises Jack and it takes him a moment to reply.

“There’s every need.” He’s grateful, he really is and he doesn’t want Ianto to think that he is taking him for granted. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, for not…” Jack sighs and shakes his head, sure that he’s just making the situation worse.

“Are you angry with me?” Jack tries again, hoping that the answer will be no, but knowing that what he probably deserves is a resounding yes. After all how could Ianto be anything but angry with him?

“Yes.” Ianto turns away from him and throws Jack’s ruined tee shirt into a bin with a little more force than was necessary. “But not for the reasons you think.”

“Are you a mind reader now?” Jack regrets it the moment he’s said it. He knows it’s just one of those jokey turns of phase which under any other circumstance would be a harmless, throwaway line, but after all that Jubel has said, has claimed to be true, Jack really can’t find it funny any more.

“Not exactly.” Ianto bites his lip as he walks back to the bed and sits down next to Jack. “If what Jubel said was true, if I were an empath, what would you do to me?”

“Do to you?” Jack hates the look of fear that has appeared in Ianto’s eyes, the sudden tenseness that seems to radiate from him, hates the fact that he's the one who's caused it.

“I mean you pick and choose which of Torchwood’s directives we actually follow. If I were an empath would that mean that I was an enemy, something for Owen to dissect and experiment on? Or would I just be someone you could use? Just another weapon at Torchwood’s disposal?”

“I would never use you.” He knows it’s a lie the moment it’s said, and worse is Ianto’s sad little smile means that he knows it too. The fact the he would only do it if there was no other choice, if it meant saving lives, is small comfort when weighed against the unhappiness in Ianto’s eyes.

Ianto closes his eyes and sighs. “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t, aren’t I, sir?”

“What?”

“If I tell you, or if I don’t.” He looks and sounds emotionally and physically exhausted, and it takes all of Jack’s restraint not to pull him into his arms, hold him close and to try to comfort him. It's only the knowledge that Ianto rarely seems comfortable with that sort of closeness that stops him.

“I’m hardly in a position to say what’s normal, am I?” Jack smiles reassuringly. “Just tell me what you’re comfortable with.”

“I thought for a long time that I was just good at reading body language, that I was just more observant than a lot of people, but eventually I realised that it had to be more than that. It was as if I could feel what they were feeling, that the stronger their emotions were the more I could sense it. ” Ianto gives a frustrated sigh. “That didn’t make much sense, did it?”

“I think I understand. What do you feel about me?” It’s a question that Jack thinks needs to be asked, and even if he doesn’t like the answer, it’s still probably better to know than not to.

“You’re tired. You’re always so tired, and you can’t rest because you’re waiting.” Ianto smiles sadly. “And you’re afraid, afraid that you are failing us, failing everybody, that you’re not living up to standards that no one can ever hope to meet.” He places a hand on Jack’s knee. “You’re not. You’ve never failed us, not when it really mattered.”

Jack can’t hide the shock of how well Ianto has been able to read him, and of how much trust he still has in him despite everything. His voice shakes a little when he speaks, “Do you read everybody this well?”

Ianto gives him a pained look before turning his head away, unable or unwilling to look Jack in the eye any longer, “You mean how could I not have known about Lisa, about what she had become.”

Jack can see Ianto slowly starting to unravel in front of him, the peace that he seems to have gained in the last few weeks falling away. “No, that not what I meant, not at all. Ianto, you don’t have to explain about that.”

“But I do, I need to, and I need you to understand that I wouldn’t have done what I did if I’d known.” He sounds a little desperate and Jack wonders if Ianto has ever shared this with anybody.

“Alright, you just take it slow, okay?”

Ianto nods slowly. “All I get is feelings, I never knew what she was thinking, I didn’t know what she would do.” His hands are clenched tight in his lap, as he struggles for words. “All I could feel was her pain, her pain and desperation. All I knew was that she was suffering and I was the only one there who would help her. I don’t expect that you’ll believe me.”

“I believe you.” Jack says quietly. He knows that Ianto had truly believed that Lisa had still been alive somewhere within the cyberwoman when he has fought so hard for her, because he knows that Ianto would never have compromised Torchwood and endangered so many people if he’d realised what Lisa had become. Jack just wishes he’d found the time to tell Ianto this long before now.

“Thank you.” His voice is barely above a whisper as his hand seeks out Jack’s, holding on tightly as he tries to continue. “She was the best person I’d ever known, she was so…” He takes a ragged breath, struggling to remain in control of his emotions. “I loved her. I still love her.” He looks at Jack, his eyes full of tears. “Some days I don’t know how I can survive without her, on others hours will go by when I don’t think of her at all, and when I realise that I haven’t been thinking of her it’s worse, it’s like I’m betraying her memory. I thought we were meant to be together forever.”

A few tears escape to roll silently down Ianto’s cheeks and he lets go of Jack’s hand to quickly brushes them away. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to see me like this. It’s not very professional is it? ”

“Given the circumstances I’d be worried if you were. You have to let yourself grieve for her.” Not that Jack isn’t already worried now that he knows just how much Ianto has been internalising everything and how convincingly he has hidden the fact that he's still so broken inside from all that has happened.

“I know.” Ianto’s voice is barely above a whisper as he closes his eyes, and leans against Jack’s shoulder. "But if I do, it means she's really gone."

They sit in silence, Jack’s hand resting lightly on Ianto’s knee, seeking to remind him that he doesn’t have to be alone. It hurts to see Ianto so worn down, so emotionally fragile, and Jack can’t help but think he’s a useless boss and an even worse friend for not noticing how unhappy Ianto still is.

Jack knows that watching Ianto sing, seeing him so happy outside of Torchwood has let him fool himself into thinking that Ianto had somehow managed to get over everything in a couple of short months. Now he’s scared that the happy smiles and laughter at the bar were all just a front as well.

It’s probably not the best time to start talking about Ianto singing, not least because it brings up the whole problem of having to explain just why he’d watched Ianto for weeks without ever telling him. That said, he doesn’t want Ianto to go on suffering in silence, not if there's something he can do to help.

“Ianto.” Jack squeezes Ianto’s leg gently to get his attention. “I don’t want to pry, and you can tell me it’s none of my business if you want, but you seemed so happy when it saw you singing. I just want to know if it was true?”

“Yes.” Ianto’s smile is a little watery, unshed tears drying in his eyes because he will not let them fall. “It’s the atmosphere in there. It’s happy, relaxed, it reminds me that there are still good people in this world, that love still exists.” He looks steadily at Jack for the first time that evening, “It gives me hope, it lets me know that things can be right again and that I will get through this.”

“I’m sorry I watched you how I did. I know I should have come clean that first night, but I didn’t know what to say, and every time I went back and listened to you again, saw how happy you seemed, I didn't want to ruin it for you.”

“You wouldn’t have. I’m flattered that you think I’m good enough to listen to more than once.”

“It’s not flattery, not if it’s true, and I’ve told you, it’s that beautiful Welsh accent, I could listen to you all day and never get tired of it.” Jack knows it’s probably a little to close to flirting to be anything like appropriate, but he’s never been a big fan of appropriate and if it lightens the mood a little he’s definitely all for it.

Instead of answering though Ianto tries, mostly unsuccessfully, to stifle a yawn.

“Speaking of tired, you should try to sleep.”

“So should you.” Ianto counters, looking first at Jack and then at the bed, and then at Jack again.

“You can take the bed first.”

“We could always share,” Ianto suggests a little hesitantly.

“It’ll be cosy.” It’s not that Jack wants to put Ianto off the idea, he’s all in favour of being in bed with Ianto. What he isn’t sure about is whether Ianto is offering because he feels that he should or if he really doesn’t mind. Considering everything that has happened between them, both tonight and in the last few months, Jack really doesn’t want to pressure Ianto into anything that he might not be comfortable with, even if that something is only sleep.

“I doubt you’ll mind.”

“Will you?”

“I’m too tired to mind.” Ianto’s tone suggests that he is not going to stand for any further argument on the matter, so Jack decided to just go with it.

“Well, in that case do you want the side nearest the wall or the door?”

“Door.” Ianto says without hesitation.

“All right then.” Jack’s not going to argue about it, after all he gave Ianto the choice, it’s not Ianto fault that he chose the same spot Jack would have taken himself. Jack knows Ianto’s reasoning though, it’s the same as his own, the same as anyone who has been thought too many difficult and dangerous situations, he wants to be able to see and have easy access to an escape route should things start to go wrong.

Lying down with his back as close to the wall as he can, Jack tries to give Ianto as much room as possible. Not that there’s much room, and with Ianto in the bed Jack finds himself almost spooned against Ianto’s back as it’s the only way they’ll both fit.

Not that he’s going to complain, he’s grateful for the additional warmth and it doesn’t hurt than Ianto has a very nice body to spoon against. So despite his earlier misgivings about Ianto not being comfortable with such an arrangement, Jack has to admit that Ianto has actually shown no signs of being anything less than okay with their current situation.

Closing his eyes, Jack lets the steady hum of the ship and gentle sound of Ianto’s breathing lull him to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Jack rolls over in bed and pulls the covers up over his head, trying to cling to sleep. It takes him a moment to register that there really shouldn’t be enough room for him to rollover, not with Ianto in the bed.

Sitting up with a start, any thought or desire to go back to sleep rapidly fading, he looks around.

He’s alone, even Ianto’s shirt is no longer hung over the heating pipes, in fact any trace that Ianto has ever been in the room is gone.

A second later there is a crash from the main area of the ship and Jack is out of bed and on his feet. Not stopping to get dressed, he races off to find its cause.

Bursting into the ship’s small galley kitchen he find Jubel sweeping up broken glass. There is no sign of Ianto here either, although there are two mugs left on the table.

Jubel looks up as Jack hurries in, and smiles, before saying cheerfully, “You decided to get up then, I was beginning to think you were going to sleep all day.”

“Where is he?” Jack asks, concern rapidly giving way to something approaching panic, despite the fact that he has seen nothing to warrant it.

“Who?” Jubel empties the contents of the dustpan in to a bin.

Jack’s in no mood for games and he pushes Jubel back against the wall, his forearm across Jubel’s neck. “I said where is he?” He can’t believe he trusted Jubel not to pull anything. If anything has happened to Ianto he’ll never forgive Jubel and he’ll probably never be able to forgive himself either.

Before Jubel can answer, the door to the galley is pushed open to thump loudly against the wall as Ianto storms into the kitchen. Soaking wet and wearing nothing but a towel and an annoyed expression, he turns to Jack, “What are doing?”

“You’re alright,” Jack says, both surprised and relieved. He feels a complete idiot now, he’s over reacted and now Jubel looks afraid of him and Ianto’s angry. It must be a record, he thinks a little bitterly, to be awake for less than five minutes and be able to screw things up this badly.

“Obviously.” Ianto holds the towel firmly in place. “Do you think you could refrain from strangling anybody until I’ve finished my shower and got dressed?”

“Yeah.” Jack smiles apologetically as Ianto stalks back out of the room without another word.

Releasing Jubel, who coughs a couple of times and rubs a hand across his neck where Jack had pinned him against the wall, Jack tries to think of something to say.

Jubel however beats him too it. “What the hell was that about?”

“I thought…” Actually now that Jack has had a moment to think about it he’s not too sure what he’d been thinking when he’d run into the galley in search of Ianto or if at that point he’d even been thinking at all.

“What did you think? I’d screw up the best chance I’ve got of getting Sibel back even before we get there? That I wouldn’t even give your plan a chance? I was desperate, Jack, but I’m not a complete idiot.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Honestly, what did you think I’d do with him up here? Lock him in a cupboard? If I was going to do anything I’d wait until we’re planet side at the very least.”

Jack glares at him and Jubel takes a step back, hands raised, still very wary. “Not that I would.”

“I’m sorry.” Jack’s fed up with saying sorry. He feels like he’s said it more times in the past twelve hours than he has in pervious twelve years, and it still seems like he’s playing catch up, that he’s making mistakes faster than he can put them right or apologise for them.

Jubel sounds tired and miserable when he speaks again, “Yeah, well don’t do it again.”

“Then don’t ever put me in a position where I might need to.”

They stand and stare at each other, unable to back down, knowing that depending on just what is said next it could damage their friendship irreparably.

Jubel looks away first. “I didn’t want any of this to happen, Jack, and I don’t want to be your enemy, I know what happens to anybody who gets in your way. I just want my daughter back and for all this to be over.”

Walking over to the table he slumps down into one of the chairs. “I don’t know where you’ve been, what you’ve been doing or what the hell you’ve become, and I don’t want to know. I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Jubel…”

“No, hear me out,” Jubel snaps, slamming his hand down on the table. “I killed you and I saw you dead, and now you’re not. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad you’re not dead, but it scares the hell out me. You scare the hell out of me.”

Jack sighs and turns away, he doesn’t want to see the fear in his friend’s eyes, fear that is so much more accusing and damning than anger could ever be.

“I’m not going cross you, Jack. I’ve seen what you’re capable if anyone takes or harms what’s yours. So I’ll tell it to you straight, I’m not going to take your young man from you, you’ve got my word on that.”

“Thank you.” Jack can’t think of anything else to say, despite how inadequate it seems. He’s not going to correct Jubel by telling him that Ianto isn’t his young man, not in that way, not yet, although he still has his hopes.

There is another slightly awkward silence before Jubel speaks again, “So in the spirit of me not taking things from you, I’ll give you something instead.”

Jack can do nothing about the positively dirty grin that he feels tugging at his lips, “What are you going to give me?”

Jubel makes a snorting noise, unimpressed. “Advice.”

“What is it?”

“Put some clothes on.”

Jack walks slowly back to the cabin, reassured, at least in part, that Ianto is safe from Jubel. He smiles, now all he has to do is keep them safe should the deal with Grell go sour.

Returning to the galley, dressed in boots and trousers, his other clothes hadn’t been in the cabin, Ianto having probably thrown them away as a lost cause, Jack finds Jubel and Ianto sat at the table, talking quietly and drinking coffee.

Pouring himself a cup, he joins them. It really shouldn’t surprise him that even here in the depths of space that Ianto has somehow managed to find and brew coffee that would put most other people’s attempts to shame.

“Are you going to walk around like that all day?” Ianto sounds vaguely annoyed, although his expression is more one of embarrassment, as Jack sits down.

“It’s not like I’ve got anything else to wear.” Jack is quite aware that it sounds a little sulky, he doesn’t mean it to be, but it was Ianto that binned his clothes.

Ianto doesn’t reply. Instead he unbuttons his shirt, and lays it on the edge of the table before taking off his tee-shirt and throwing it at Jack. ”Put that on.”

Jack considers the tee-shirt for a moment before asking, “Couldn’t I have the shirt?” He doesn’t want to seem ungrateful, but he likes the look of the deep blue shirt.

“No, because I’d like to keep it intact, thank you.” The look that Ianto gives him doesn’t allow for any further discussion on the matter, and Jack puts on the tee-shirt without another word.

It’s still warm and smells faintly of Ianto’s deodorant and aftershave from the previous day and Jack the sudden ridiculous urge to sniff it. He doesn’t though as he doubts whether Ianto or Jubel would be very appreciative of him doing that, especially not while they were trying to eat breakfast.

On Ianto it had been somewhat form fitting, on Jack it’s just tight. Not that he minds, he knows he’s got a nice enough body that no one is going to complain, in fact he’s fairly sure he’ll get more than a few admiring glancing when they set down on Aphelion.

“Any better?”

There is the faintest suggestion of a blush on Ianto’s cheeks as he looks at Jack before turning away and taking a hurried gulp of coffee, saying, “I think you might want to lose the braces.”

“Why?” Jack thinks that the red contrasts very nicely with the black of the tee shirt.

“Because it makes you look like a firemen themed stripper at a hen night.”

“You say that like such it’s a bad thing?” There were a great many worse things too look like than a person that people paid to see taking their clothes off, in Jack’s opinion. Not to mention all the hose, helmet and sliding down poles jokes that he could make.

Ianto gives Jack a slightly despairing look. “You know most people would not consider being told that they look like a stripper a compliment.”

“I’m not most people.”

“And don’t I know it.” The genuine annoyance of earlier is replaced with a gentle mockery and Jack knows that his earlier out burst is mostly forgiven.

“He’s got you there.” Jubel gestures at Jack with a forkful of food.

Jack looks first at Jubel and then at Ianto. “I’m not going to win this one, am I?”

“No.” They say in unison.

Jack unhooks the braces. “If my pants fall down it’s your fault.”

“You have a belt.” Ianto says firmly, before returning to eating his breakfast, waiting until Jack has started to drink his coffee before adding, with an innocent that obviously doesn’t mean. “And if they do it’s not going to be anything I haven’t seen before.”

Jack nearly chokes on his coffee.

The banter continues for a while until Jubel leaves to check on the autopilot system as they begin their approach to Aphelion.

Jack knows that to a casual observer that their humour may seem wholly inappropriate given the circumstances, yet it’s the very existence of these circumstance that forces them too it. It’s stress release, the calm before the storm, it’s these shared moments that allow the tension to be, temporarily at least, forgotten.

Once Jubel has gone, Jack turns to Ianto who is pouring himself another mug of coffee. “I’m sorry about this morning, I over reacted.”

“I should have probably woken you and told you where I was going. Given what happened last night I guess I should be grateful all you did was shout at him when you couldn’t find me.” There is no anger or annoyance in Ianto’s voice now, just a sort of tired resignation as he walks back over to the table and sits down facing Jack.

They sit in silence for a moment as Jack tries to think of something to say that isn’t likely to cause offence. He eventually settles with, “You must have been up early.”

“I was.” Ianto gives Jack a tired smile, and sips his drink. “I didn’t sleep that well.”

Jack feels guilty now that he ever let Ianto talk him into letting them share the bed.

“It’s not your fault.” Ianto wraps his hands around his mug, and Jack can’t help but watch his fingers, he sure he never had quite such a fascination with fingers before he saw Ianto’s. “I don’t sleep particularly well normally, never mind after a night like that, so don’t blame yourself.”

“Is it really that obvious what I’m thinking?”

“Sometimes.”

They fall silent again. Ianto still looking into his coffee and Jack still watching Ianto’s long, slim fingers curled around the mug. It’s not exactly an awkward silence, nor it is a particularly companionable one, it’s just the silence of two people who both have far too much to say to each other but do not know how to begin.

It’s Ianto that breaks the silence this time. “I hope you don’t mind, sir, but while you were asleep I got Jubel to patch me though to the Hub’s internal messaging network so I could let the rest of the team know that we wouldn’t be in this morning. I told them it was a business negotiation.”

“A business negotiation,” Jack says wryly, it was certainly one way of describing what they were doing.

“It seemed like the best description of the situation that wasn’t an outright lie. It’s also one that shouldn’t lead to too many questions when we get back.” There is an unspoken 'I don’t want to have to tell them about this and I’m fairly sure that you don’t either' in the brief silence that follows.

Sometimes Ianto’s logic just blows him away. “Thank you. You know you didn’t have to.”

“Yes, I did. We can hardly just run off without a word. They would be worried and can you imagine the mess that we’d get back to? Gwen would probably have half the Cardiff police force out looking for you, Tosh would be running so many scans and locator programs that it would send the central processor into meltdown. and as for Owen I don’t even want to think about what he might do.”

Jack lets Ianto ramble on for a moment before asking, “You said they’d be looking for me. Why didn’t you say they’d be looking for us?”

“They barely notice me when I am there. I doubt it would even register that I wasn’t until they had to make their own coffee or find something in the archive.” He gives Jack a small, half smile that obviously supposed to mean he’s used to it and it really doesn’t matter or hurt his feelings anymore. It’s worse somehow, to Jack’s mind at least, that he should feel that it’s acceptable for everybody around him to totally disregard his how he feels. “Anyway, Owen is still waiting of me to just suddenly disappear. He’s still convinced that you’re coming up with some creative punishment for me.”

“And what do you think?” Jack wishes that he didn't keep asking these questions that he really isn’t sure he wants to know the answer to.

“That he’s wrong. If you were going to do anything to me you would have done it there and then, and you would have made no secret of it.” Ianto seems surprisingly calm as he continues, “Owen confuses how you make the hard decisions for us with heartlessness. It’s not, I know it’s not. You only do it to protect us.”

Jack's really not sure he comfortable with this new and ever so insightful Ianto. Although he knows in reality that Ianto has always been like this, it’s only since last night that Ianto has chosen to share these observations with him. It’s still a little unnerving though and he knows it’ll take a while for him to adjust to it. But he will adjust, because if there is one thing that he is good at it’s adaptability.

“If Owen is causing you trouble, I'll speak to him about it.” Owen does have his good points, Jack wouldn’t argue with that, lately however more and more of his bad ones seem to be dominating his behaviour. It worries him because he knows that eventually he’s going to have to have to find a way deal with it before it starts to seriously affect the team and Owen's ability to function as part of it. The problem is that he has absolutely no idea of how to go about it.

“Don’t, it’ll just make Owen more obnoxious than ever,” Ianto says quickly, before looking thoughtful for a moment, then he continues, “What we need is to get back to normal. For you to start treating me how you did before…” His hands tense on the tabletop for a moment and then he stands, turning away from Jack. “Before things went wrong. You don’t talk to me how you used to or say the sort of things to me that you did. I guess I’m saying I want things to go back to how they used to be between us.”

“Are you asking me to start flirting with you again?” Jack’s not sure he’s ever had a request for more flirting, but he guesses there’s always a first time for everything.

“Maybe, I mean I know I’ve missed it, but I don’t want you to start to again, not if you don’t mean it.” Ianto sounds confused, unsure of whether he should ask, despite the fact that it seems to be something he wants.

“Mean it?” Jack echoes, as confused as Ianto sounds as he wonders just what he really means. Does he want the flirting to become more than just flirting? Does he want Jack to make good on the things that he has flirted with him about? Or is it more than that, does Ianto actually want a serious relationship with him?

Jack knows he can do the first two with little difficulty. The first two are just sex. Sure there would be affection and companionship, but sex would just be a shared pastime between them, like golf or going to the cinema. It wouldn’t have any strings attached, there would be no thoughts of commitment, of it becoming anything more romantically inclined.

It’s the last option though scares him, because he knows that he can’t give Ianto that, not at the moment anyway, and maybe not ever. He’s sure it wouldn’t be remotely fair on Ianto to let him think even for a moment that’s what he’s offering. Maybe once he’s found his Doctor and got him to make things right again, then he’ll be able to come back and give Ianto what he needs.

There’s doubt though, doubt that has been growing year on year as he's waited for for the Doctor. Doubt that says maybe he never will come back, that he’s gone forever, doubt that says if the Doctor really cared about him then he’d have come looking for him years ago or that he would never have abandoned him in the first place.

Not that Jack allows himself to believe these doubts, not even for a moment. He can’t, because if he does it means giving up hope, and that’s all he has left.

So until he finds the Doctor he’ll give Ianto what he can and he hopes that will be enough. Jack smiles. “What if I just keep it to compliments? Tell you how good you look in a suit, how you make the best coffee in Wales.”

“That’s flattery, not flirting.” Ianto turns back to Jack, looking like he’s come to a decision.

“It’s the same thing isn’t it?”

“Not at all.” Ianto gives Jack what he can only describe a very knowing smirk. “Flattery is you saying how good I look in a suit. Flirting is you saying how good I look in a suit, but how you think that I’d look even better out of it.”

Jack laughs, he can’t help it. “I thought that was a given.” He just hopes it doesn’t offended Ianto too much.

He’s about to apologise when Ianto starts laughing as well. The tension between them is shifting, changing, becoming something else, something that’s no longer about hurt or blame, but is still as equally dangerous for them both.

They are standing a lot closer now and Jack’s not sure which of them has moved or if it was both of them. All he knows is that Ianto’s hand is on his hip, resting against the hanging loop of his braces.

There is something in Ianto’s eyes that’s totally unfathomable, although desire is definitely a part of it, as he leans in even closer.

And just for a second Jack thinks that he is going to kiss him, then the mood is broken as Jubel shouts loudly from the ships small bridge, “We’ll be breaking atmosphere in five minutes, so find something to hang on to.”

Ianto takes a hurried step back, looking flustered. “I should…” He points to where Jubel had called from.

“Yeah.” Jack nods, trying not to get too annoyed with Jubel’s timing for ruining something that he knows would have been special.

Following Ianto up to the bridge, Jack stands behind Ianto’s seat, holding on tightly to the rail as the ship start it’s entry into Aphelion’s upper atmosphere.

The re-entry is as noisy and bumpy as leaving Earth’s atmosphere had been, although Jack barely notices it as he’s deep in thought about what nearly just happened between him and Ianto.

The fact that Ianto had been the one to initiate the situation, that he would almost certainly have gone through with it had it not been for Jubel’s interruption, gives Jack hope that it will happen again, if he just gives it time.

He watches the rapt fascination on Ianto’s face as the ship begins its approach to the spaceport, Ianto leaning slightly forward in his seat as the planets surface changes from being a blur far below them to a jumbled cityscape, it’s varied architecture a product of its long multi species heritage.

Dropping into the docking queuing system above the spaceport they wait to be allocated a landing site. They don’t have to wait long before a light flashes on the control panel, indicating an incoming call and Jubel flicks a switch, connecting it.

“Verdanii vessel you have permission to land. Landing site one seven nine jay gee seven six is clear for your arrival. The coordinates are being transmitted to your landing operations systems now. Please familiarise yourself with Aphelion’s weapons laws before disembarking your vessel and have an nice, profitable and safe stay on Aphelion.” The droning automated voice repeats the message two more time before Jubel flicks the switch back off.

“Takes all the joy of out space travel automated systems like that.” Jubel says sulkily. “It’s not like the old days, putting in at an unfamiliar port with nothing but your wits and the port’s landing lights to guide you in.”

Jack doesn’t add that while Jubel may think that the old ways were fun, something he’s not going to argue with, as it was, the new automated systems have probably saved Jubel a lot of money in repair bills by stopping him from landing his ship nose first into the docking area.

Twenty minutes later they’ve finished the docking and ship registration procedures, then leaving their guns behind as per Aphelion’s non-aggression laws, they head out to meet Grell and the Devor elders at the customs house.


	10. Chapter 10

After so long on Earth it’s an incredible feeling to be back out here amongst the stars, to once again see other races in a situation where they are not invaders or lost and frightened travellers.

Glancing over at Ianto who is watching the teaming alien life around them with an expression delight and amazement, Jack smiles, enjoying his excitement.

He wishes that their visit was under better circumstances, that he's got time to take Ianto off and explore, to show him just a few of the wonders that this planet holds.

But they don’t have time. Jack knows that Grell will be arriving soon, or possibly he’s here already, and after that, unless there’s any mishap, they’ll have to head straight back to Earth and Torchwood. Jack hopes that if this goes well and if he and Ianto part from Jubel on good terms then maybe he’d be able to persuade Jubel to come back to Cardiff at a later date and take them on a proper trip to the stars.

The walk to the customs house is short and uneventful. The building when they reach it is reminiscent, structurally at least, to a Roman or Greek temple, although the pale blue nearly metallic looking stone that it’s built from gives it an undeniably alien quality.

Sitting down half way up the steps and under the shade of the portico, Jack waits for Grell to arrive.

Jubel sits a few steps below him, lost in thought, a small photo that he has taken from his coat pocket held loosely in his hands.

The brief glimpse that Jack gets of the picture confirms what he had thought it might be, a snapshot of Jubel and Sidony standing in front of a house and holding a baby, their expressions ones of pure joy.

Jack looks away, unwilling to intrude, knowing that if their situations were reversed he’d probably want some time on his own about now.

Walking up the steps, Ianto stops as he reaches Jubel, his expression sad and understanding as he places a hand on Jubel’s shoulder. He says something that Jack can’t quite catch, although from Jubel’s reaction he’s sure that it’s something comforting and reassuring.

Jubel looks up and smiles tiredly at Ianto, his hand moving to cover Ianto's as he says, “Thank you.”

"It'll be alright." Ianto gives Jubel's hand a gentle squeeze, before walking over to Jack and sitting down next to him.

Jack waits for a moment to see if Ianto is going to say anything to him, to reveal what he’s just said to Jubel, but he remains silent, looking out over the city.

“So what do you think of Aphelion?” Jack asks, although given Ianto’s expression it’s pretty obvious how he feels. Jack asks simply to break the silence, because sitting and waiting quietly for something as tense as his meeting with Grell is likely to be has never been something that he’s good at.

“It’s incredible. I know we see aliens everyday, but this…” He gestures at the city, looking a little over whelmed. “It’s beautiful, I don’t think I’ve got the words to describe it. It’s all a bit much to take in really.”

“You are alright though?” Jack can feel worry start to set in as he begins to wonder how Ianto is coping with being surrounded by so many different aliens and their emotions. He’s surprised that it has taken this long for him even to consider how having all these alien minds around them might affect Ianto. He’d like to think that after their talk the previous night that he’s now got a better understanding of, and more consideration for, Ianto’s feelings. This however makes him doubt whether he really does have any more consideration or if he’s fooling himself in an attempt to make himself feel better about he has treated Ianto, and if he’s honest, the rest of the team, in the past.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Ianto looks around concerned. “Is there something that you’re not telling me?”

“About Aphelion? No. I was just wondering how you were managing with all these alien minds and feelings around you, it must be strange.” He hadn’t wanted to worry Ianto, after all Aphelion is, as planets go, a pretty safe one. He wouldn’t have chosen it for the meeting with Grell otherwise.

“Not really, crowds like this are easy. There are so many people that nothing is that intense. It’s like being at a station or an airport, everybody’s in a hurry and they’re hungry, tired or bored from travelling. It’s sort of comforting to realise that they’re really not so different from us.” He smiles reassuringly at Jack. “So don’t worry, I’m not about to go crazy or anything.”

“So small groups of people worse than crowds then?” It seems at odds with Jack’s own, albeit limited, experience with telepaths. They’d told him the precisely the opposite, that it was crowds that made their heads ache with all the voices talking at once, while small groups of people were easier and clearer to read.

Ianto stares thoughtfully at the city for a moment before answering. “Not worse,” he says eventually. “Just clearer, more focused, more intense. But not always, it depends on how strongly people are feeling things and what they’re feeling. If they’re happy it can be the best thing in the world to be around them.”

Jack supposes that this makes some kind of sense, although it’s a little worrying as it means that if they get any strongly empathic aliens or any that feed on emotions he’ll need to keep Ianto well out of their way. Not that that would be anything like an easy task, because he knows that if he judges it wrong all he’ll end up with is Ianto being very annoyed at him for not treating him the same as the rest of the team and making it look like he didn’t trust him to do his job.

He has to wonders how, if small groups of people with emotions running high are difficult to cope with, Ianto manages at the Hub, when that situation describes a good part of most of their working days. He doesn’t even want to think about what it must have been like for Ianto on the last field mission that he took him on. Brynblaidd and its aftermath has been difficult for all of them, but knowing that Ianto could feel the fear of the other captives, and even worse the malicious delight of villagers, makes him feel decidedly queasy.

“What do you do if all the emotions around you are bad, how do you cope? ” It’s a difficult question to ask, but it doesn’t change the fact that he has to ask it. Because if Ianto isn’t coping then Jack knows that he’s got some difficult decisions ahead of him as to which missions he allows Ianto on, and on his place within the team.

“Who says I cope?” There is an undercurrent of dark humour to it and Ianto looks away before Jack can even attempt to gauge if the humour was really meant.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t though, wouldn’t you?” Jack’s hand strays on to Ianto’s leg, resting lightly on his jeans. He means it to be comforting, reassuring, a gesture that’s meant to let Ianto know that he cares about him. It’s only once he has that Jack wonders if what he’s doing really is about providing reassurance for Ianto or if it’s just about reassuring himself.

It’s baffling and almost infuriating to Jack that Ianto seems to have the ability to make him second-guess himself without even saying a word. It’s also something that Jack’s not sure whether to be happy or rather disturbed about as he can see it being both a positive and a negative thing.

“Yes.” Ianto answers quickly and with a rather less conviction than Jack would like, but he supposes it will have to do.

Sitting in silence they watch as Aphelion’s sun starts to set, the dust in the atmosphere the sky turning a deep red. Ianto hasn’t moved Jack’s hand from his leg, in fact Jack is pleased to note, Ianto has actually moved closer to him so that their shoulders touch.

“Would you give it up if you could? Feeling what all those around you feel.” Jack knows only too well what it’s like to have something not of your choosing governing so much of how you live your life. He knows that if Ianto says yes then he will find a way to make it happen, to relieve Ianto of what must sometimes be an unwanted gift.

Ianto looks surprised at Jack’s question, surprised and seemingly a little disturbed at the idea that Jack might make him give up something that had been a part of him for his whole life. “I’d rather not, but if I you feel it necessary to make me choose between it and staying with Torchwood, then I choose Torchwood.”

“I would never force you to do anything that you didn’t want to.” Jack leaves out the ‘unless what you want to do is going to put the whole world in danger’ part, that has no place in what he is talking about right now. This is not about Torchwood or aliens or national security, it is about the fragile but growing trust between them and his need to let Ianto know that he would never willing break that trust.

Ianto smiles, it’s a little shy and a lot knowing, as he says softly, “I know you wouldn’t.” He watches Jack through lowered eyes lashes, biting his lip thoughtfully, before continuing, “But you might be surprised by what I want.”

Jack grins, he can’t help himself, the fact that Ianto has turned their conversation in a decidedly sexual direction is one hell of a turn on. He’s just about to ask Ianto what it is that he would like to do that might be surprising, when Grell and his delegation of Devor elders arrive.

Reluctantly, Jack takes his hand from off Ianto’s leg, and walks down the steps to meet them.

It’s strange to see Grell again, to see how time has changed him from an idealistic youth with his dreams of becoming a hero to the worn and seemingly compassionless figure now in front of him.

Grell walks slowly at the head of the small group, leaning heavily on a cane with each step, his left leg seeming to no longer be able to bend at the knee. The four elders that accompany him hang back slightly, watching Jack warily.

Stopping just in front of Jack Grell holds out his hand.

Accepting the gesture of friendship, although right now he feels a lot less than friendly towards Grell, Jack decides it’s time to make it clear to him that he’s in control of the situation, asking, “Where’s Jubel’s daughter?”

Grell shakes his hand enthusiastically. “Straight to business, that is good. All the same it is good to see you again after such a long time, to put to rest my debt to you.”

The scales on Grell’s hand are hot and dry to the touch, something that Jack knows is not normal for a Devor in good health. Not that Jack is going to allow that to sway what he thinks of Grell right now, being under the weather was hardly a valid excuse for holding anybody, and certainly not a child, hostage until a debt is paid.

“You still haven’t answered my question, where is she?”

“She’s waiting in the gardens. We shall go there now, get this over with.” Grell sounds determined not to let the situation drag on any longer than he can help, a fact for which Jack is grateful, knowing all this waiting and uncertainty must be hell for Jubel.

“Then lead on.”

Grell talks as they walk, seeming not to care he and Jack are hardly friends. “There are getting to be so few of us left who remember Telemar for what it really was. The Devor shall never forget, but time distorts the truth and there are still those that call for war and revenge even now. Maybe even more call for it now than they did then. They talk of glory because they have not seen the horror of it with their own eyes.”

Jack says nothing. He has seen it all too often before, the pointlessness and waste of war, and knows that he will again. He hadn’t expected was to find that Grell’s view of it is much the same as his own, but then again he supposes after living through what they had maybe it was inevitable.

The gardens are not far, only at the back of the customs house. Stopping at the entrance to them. Grell turns to Jack, saying, “I know you think my actions are harsh, I see the disapproval in your eyes, but I cannot afford to be seen as weak over things such as this. You may not believe it but I am the voice for moderation and change amongst the houses of the Devor, and I will not jeopardise my position over every sad story that gets put in front of me.”

“It’s not weak to show mercy.” Jack can feel Ianto’s eyes on him as he says this, and it makes him feel like a hypocrite. He knows that there’s no comparison between this situation and Lisa, but that does little to make him feel any better about it.

“It would be seen as such if I were write off the debt of a human just out of pity.” Grell sounds tired and angry at the whole situation as he watches the elders walk past him and into the gardens. “You have to understand, there are those seek any excuse to remove me from power, scared of the changes I have brought in. They cling to the past, they do not understand that if the Devor are to be strong again, to be a power in this sector once more, then they must change, they must become united and learn from the past rather than living in it.”

Jack wants to tell him that he doesn’t have to understand anything, but he doesn’t knowing that there’s no sense in aggravating the situation.

Waiting in the gardens, stood around an ancient looking metal disk, are three more Devor. A male and female who are dressed in the colours of Grell’s house and an older female who Jack realises with a start must be the shipmother for Grell’s family.

It was the only gender specific job, as far as Jack knows, within the Devor race, and one that carries a great level of respect, responsible as they are for the physical and emotional well being of the all the children in the family they are attached to. That Sibel is under the shipmother’s care means that Grell wasn’t lying when he’d said that she had not been harmed.

Standing beside the shipmother and holding her hand is a small blue skinned child, maybe four years old, who, upon seeing Jubel, starts to wave enthusiastically at him.

Jubel clutches at Jack’s arm, nearly crying with relief. “It’s her, it’s Sibel. She’s alright.”

"I told you she would be." Jack's just glad he was right, otherwise the situation would be getting ugly right about now.

Grell watches Jubel for a moment, his harsh expression softening a little, before waving the shipmother over to him. “Give Panorian his daughter, there is no sense in keeping him waiting. I trust Jack will not break his part of this agreement.”

“You know I won’t.” Jack waits until Sibel has been handed over to her father before turning back to Grell. “I suppose we’d better get started.”

"Yes." Grell walks over to where the elders are gathered about the metal disk.

Upon closer inspection of it, Jack find that it is made of old silvered metal and is engraved with the names of all the previous heads of Grell’s house. In places the disk is worn almost smooth, the names barely legible with the passage of time.

Grell strokes the surface of it with a look of reverence, careful not to knock it from where it has been balanced across three thin legged stands, before turning to the elders. “Mine is an ancient and noble house. All of you here know that I was not born to lead it, but through battle and deed and word I rose to it, forging the house of Kortel into what it is today. One of nine prime houses of the Devor.”

He looks at Jack and indicates for him to place his hand on the disk.

“Without this human, I and many others of our race would not have survived Telemer. But for his actions I would not have lived to see my house rise from the ashes, nor watch my sons and daughters grow, their deeds bringing honour to my family and this house.” He nods to the elders, two moving to stand either side of him, the remaining two going to stand either side of Jack.

“The life debt I owe him for this is more than I thought I would ever be able to repay. It has weighed heavy on me these forty-three years, and it is a burden that I had no wish to pass to my children.”

Jack feels a little guilty now about leaving Grell with what he considered to an almost unpayable debt for so long, he hadn’t known that the debt was transferable either, that it would have been passed on through Grell’s line until it was finally repaid.

The ceremony drags on with Grell listing the all precedents of life debts that had been settled by mutual agreement or trade rather than by the debtor laying down his life in the course of the repayment.

Jack really doesn’t remember the original ceremony taking this anywhere near this long or being so formal, but he suspects that what he got back on Telemar would have been the shorted version. After all they had been huddled in a cave, the supposedly accidental bombardment roaring and echoing overhead, it really hadn’t been a time for formalities or standing on ceremony.

The four elders place their hand on the disk. “Do you both agree with what had been said and acknowledge that when raise you hands from the disk that all debts and claims between you will be paid?”

“Yes.” Jack has to stop himself from adding ‘and about time too.’ He doubts whether the elders would be remotely appreciative of it.

“Yes.

“Then the debt is paid.” The elders nod to Grell, then one by one they leave the disk, going to stand with the shipmother who is smiling fondly at the sight of Jubel talking to his daughter.

Jack looks at Grell, “So that’s it? It’s all done?” It seems almost inconceivable to him that this should have gone as smoothly as it has, although he supposes that it might just be working for Torchwood that’s made him come to always expect the worst.

“Yes, and it has been an honour to do business with you and to have known you.” Grell leans forward across the disk to shake hands with Jack. “If more humans were like you, letting their actions speak for them and standing by their words when it matters most then perhaps there would not be such a desire for conflict between our races.”

Honour isn’t exactly the word that Jack would choose to use, but the deal is done and Sibel’s happy chatter in the background now that she is reunited with her father makes it worth it. It’s times like this that Jack looks forward to, times when just for a few minutes everything seems right.

He leans forward and takes Grell’s hand. “Let’s just hope that we never need to do this again.”

“This has been enough for one lifetime.” Grell smiles wearily. “And getting a speech that the elders would all agree on took half the night.”

Jack is about to reply when Ianto shouts, “Get down!”

Glancing round, Jack feels a rush of air past his face, followed by a wet spray of blood as something strikes Grell in the throat and he topples forward, collapsing the disk between them.


	11. Chapter 11

By the time Jack looks round trying to find the source of the attack and wishing that he was armed, Ianto is already running, sprinting after a young Devor who has just thrown down a crossbow like weapon and is trying to make his escape. 

The chase is short, and the Devor barely makes it to the edge of the gardens before Ianto catches up with him, tackling him and bringing them both crashing to the ground. They scuffle for a moment, striking out indiscriminately, until Grell’s bodyguards reach them and drag the Devor off of Ianto, pining his hands behind his back. 

Everything seems to be happening at once and by the time Jack looks down at Grell the shipmother has run to kneel at his side, pressing her hand over the still bleeding wound in his neck. A wound that Jack knows would have been instantly fatal were it not for quirk of Devorian physiology that means that don’t have a single, main artery in their neck, but four smaller ones. 

The elders and the guards are talking rapidly to each other, and although Jack’s limited grasp of Devorian fails him, he can still understand the main focus of the conversation: they are wondering what’s happening and what the hell were they going to do about it. 

On the other side of the garden Jubel has picked up his daughter, holding her close, shielding her from what’s happening. He glances briefly at Jack before hurrying for one of the exits. 

Jack is about to call out to him, to tell him wait at the ship for him and Ianto when he feels a hand on his arm, and one of the female elders says, “We have to leave.” She tightens her grip on his coat sleeve, and then reaches up to press one of the gems in the necklace that she is wearing. 

Before Jack can say anything there is a familiar flash of blue light and the faint scent of ozone as the cityscape around him disappears. An instant later he, Ianto and rest of the Devor are stood in the cargo bay of a large Devor ship. 

Despite the situation Jack smiles, he hadn’t expected them to be using an old delta class teleportation system, he hasn’t seen one of those in years, it brings back a lot of memories. School science projects and a very inventive way to get around the problem of getting in to the bedroom of a one time girlfriend who’s family disapproved of him too much to let him in via any conventional means, such as the door. She’d definitely been worth it as well: he’d never been able to look at tentacles in quite the same way since that night with Xelsho. 

There is no time for reminiscences though as there’s a flurry of movement and shouting as Grell’s would be assassin is hauled away by the guards and Grell is laid carefully on the floor, the shipmother still trying to stop the wound in his neck from bleeding. 

Jack doubts if as much as two full minutes have passed from the time that the shot was fired to them arriving in the Devor ship. The fact that it had been a silent weapon had meant than none of Aphelion’s considerable security forces had been alerted, a fact for which Jack is grateful. He hopes that the situation stays that way. 

“What just happened? Were are we?” Ianto is looking around, eyes wide and not a little frightened. 

Jack is relieved than none of the Devor get in his way as he pushes past them, to stand at Ianto’s side. “It’s alright.” He puts a steadying hand on Ianto’s back as he reaches him, “It was just a teleport.” 

Ianto nods, although he really doesn’t look any calmer, before stepping closer to Jack and leaning into his touch, asking quietly, “Do you think Jubel will leave us here?” 

Jack sighs, he really wishes that he could tell Ianto that Jubel would never do such a thing, but he can’t, because it is exactly the sort of thing that Jubel would do. Instead he smiles reassuringly, or at least he hopes it reassuringly, before saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll get us home.” 

Ianto just nods again, carefully not meeting Jack’s eyes. 

Jack is about to try to reassure Ianto again when the female elder who’d been responsible for teleporting him places her hand on his arm again, saying “Come with me, you’ll only be in the way here” 

“Hey, you were the one that brought us here.” Jack doesn’t bother to hide his annoyance as he shrugs her hand for his arm. 

“Just come with me,” she says with the air of a person long used to dealing with people who ask too many stupid questions. 

Following her, Jack surprised and not a little touched as he feels Ianto slip his hand into his, although he doesn’t show it as he takes note of their route leave the storage bay and walk down a series of corridors until they reach door. 

Stopping, she opens the door and escorts them into what appears to be a reception room, saying, “Wait here.” 

“And why should we do that?” 

“It is just so you are not in the way. Do not worry, you are not prisoners.” 

“Then we’re free to go?” Jack moves back closer to the door. 

“Technically you are, ” she says to Jack, before turning to Ianto, “But you need to stay. You need to tell the council what you saw, and how them you caught Grell’s would be assassin.” 

“Oh, right.” Ianto runs a hand through his hair, a gesture that Jack has come to know means Ianto is stressed. “How long should that take?” 

She seems to think for a moment before replying, “Given the severity of Grell’s injuries and the fact that Vron was seen committing the crime I would think no more than two to three hours, then you can both be on your way.” 

She smiles, “So there is no cause for worry, the Devor are grateful to you, to you both. Now there are things that I need to attend to, to call the council for Vron’s trial.” She turns to leave. “I have sent for food for you, and you will be told when your presence is required by the council.” 

“I suppose we just wait then,” Ianto says miserably, sitting down on one of the bench seats that line three of the four walls of the room. 

“We wait.” Jack wishes that there was something else that he could do, but there’s nothing. If Jubel is going to leave them behind Jack knows he’ll be gone before they can get back down to Aphelion. And trying to run out on the trial to catch him wouldn’t be a smart move. No they just have to wait. 

Jack supposes that he should be grateful that the Devor don't go in for long extended trial and court procedures, and that the situation with Grell and his would be assassin will be dealt with swiftly - the Devor legal system is fast, with little room for mercy and no real chance of appeal. 

Pacing around the room, Jack tries to calm his nerves about Jubel, and the fact that now he's got his daughter he will probably just run and not look back, leaving him and Ianto with no way back home. Once, Jack knows, he would have has more trust, more faith, but long hard years have stripped that from him. 

The fear that they’ve been abandoned here light years from home with no money, no transport and no contacts to get any, seems to grow with each circuit of the room. Jack knows that this is in no way similar to what happened to him aboard the Gamestation, but the feeling of abandonment, of rejection by a friend, is hard to push back into perspective. 

He digs his hands into his coat pockets, trying to calm himself. He knows he’s got to start thinking objectively if he’s going to come up with a plan to get them home if Jubel does leave them behind. Nothing really comes to mind though, nothing that isn’t dangerous, inadvisable or ridiculously complicated. He’s also got Ianto to consider, and that limits what he can do, the risks he can take, because he can’t place Ianto in danger or risk becoming separated from him. 

It’s on about the thirtieth traverse of the room, still with no plan, and with rapidly fraying nerves that Ianto snaps at him, “Will you stop that!” 

Looking round he sees Ianto sat hunched one of the long couches, his hands clenched tightly in his lap, his whole posture suggesting barely contained panic. 

Walking over to him Jack sits down beside him, putting an arm about his shoulders, concerned at how scared Ianto looks. “Sorry, I was just trying to come up with plan.” 

Ianto flinches at the contact, trying to push him away, “Don’t do that.” 

“Why? What did I do?” Jack lowers his arm, trying unsuccessfully to keep the hurt from his voice, suddenly sure that Ianto is blaming him for this whole mess. 

“You’re worrying. I’m trying to block it out, but…” Ianto stops and takes a couple of deep breaths before continuing, “You really aren’t making this easy.” 

The realisation that it’s his own negative feelings that are effecting Ianto, whose lack of training in his empath abilities means that he is basically unable to shield himself, hits fast, and Jack tries to push down the stronger of his negative emotions. 

Blocking his thoughts so telepaths can’t hear has become second nature to Jack, it was something that all Time Agents were taught to do early on in their training. He’d not been anymore than adequate at it, but it had generally been enough to get by with most humans. Blocking the projection of emotions is more difficult, but Jack knows he’s got to try, at least until they get out of this and he can give Ianto some basic training in how to shield himself better. 

“It’s okay, you going to be okay,” Jack says softly, taking off his greatcoat and wrapping it around Ianto. Trying not to worry about how cold and shaky Ianto’s hands are as he pulls the coat tightly about him, Jack moves to sit at the other end of the sofa, knowing that Ianto need space to get his emotions back under control. 

It takes a while, but once Ianto has stopped shivering and he no longer looks like he’s on the verge of having a panic attack, Jack moves closer and puts his arm around him, and asks, “You feel up to telling me what just happened?” 

Nodding, Ianto leans against Jack’s shoulder and closes his eyes. “It’s you. I mean it’s not you’re fault, but it you. I don’t know how or why but it’s like everything around you is magnified, is more alive, more real.” He shakes his head wearily, “And I’m tired, it’s always harder to block out if I’m tired.” 

“I’m sorry.” A scant few hours ago Jack knows that he’d promised that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Ianto, yet he has, he’s broken that promise already, his own fears about their situation causing him harm. 

Opening his eyes Ianto and gives Jack an exhausted look, before saying, “Please don’t start guilt tripping your self about this, it really won’t help – you or me.” 

“I’ll try.” Jack gives him a reassuring smile, “You should get some sleep, believe me it’ll help.” 

Ianto looks warily at the door, and then back at Jack, “Are you sure that’s a such a good idea?” 

“Yeah. I’ll keep watch, wake you if anything happens.” Jack gets up from the sofa allowing Ianto room to lie down. 

Any protest as to the sense of Jack’s decision Ianto might have made it is cut off as he yawns loudly, before looking a little embarrassed. “Maybe you’re right.” 

“Usually am.” Jack strokes his hand through Ianto’s hair, wanting to reassure him that it’s safe for him to sleep. 

Ianto looks a little surprised at the gesture, but doesn’t comment, falling asleep almost as soon as he’s lying down. 

Moving to lean against the wall by the door, Jack watches as Ianto sleeps, still wrapped tightly in the greatcoat, his head pillowed on his arms. Just how young and vulnerable Ianto looks as he sleeps surprises Jack, while the frowns that flicker occasionally across his face make Jack want to chase away whatever fears plague him. 

Young, but life having made him old beyond his years, damaged yet still so strong, passionate but reserved, Ianto fascinates him. Jack knows that he’s letting himself get in too deep is probably a terrible idea that will only end up breaking his heart. But looking at Ianto now, Jack knows that it’s a risk he’s willing to take.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first long story I started writing way back in 2007, and I've not updated since 2009, however it's always been my intention to finish it, and I've got the next part half written and hope to get the story finished my the end of this month.

Ianto is still asleep when Jack hears footsteps approaching along the corridor outside the room. 

The door slides open to reveal the Shipmother. Walking into the room she says, “Are you ready?” 

“As we'll ever be. Do you know what they want him to do?” Jack asks quietly, hoping not to disturb Ianto until they are actually needed. 

“Nothing. They've decided he is unnecessary.” 

“Unnecessary?” Jack says sceptically. How could Ianto's testimony be unnecessary when he was the one who caught Vron, and who'd prevented Grell's assassination?

“Yes. Vron confessed, and the Elders didn't think there was anything to be gained by having to listen to a human.” She doesn't look entirely happy with this, but continues saying, “Grell wishes to speak with you before the execution.” 

“He's well enough to carry it out?” Jack asks, surprised. He'd been sure that the wound Grell had received would need a considerable amount of treatment, and possibly surgery before he’d be up to anything much at all.

“No. He's dying, and wishes for this matter to be over,” she says sadly, third eyelid blinking slowly across her eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” Despite what Grell had done in holding Jubel’s daughter as security on a debt, Jack find that he actually is. Grell hadn't been a good man by Earth or a good few other planets standards, but he'd tried to do right by the people he was in charge of and had done it under difficult circumstances. 

“So am I, but now is not the time for sorrow,” she says pragmatically. “I know what Grell is going to ask of you, and I think you need time to consider it beforehand. As when he asks he will need an answer immediately if he is fulfil his part of it.”

Cryptic and ominous. What a great combination, Jack thinks. “Should I be worried?”

“I do not think so,” she says, trying to be reassuring. “He wishes to ask you to assist him in Vron's execution.”

“Assist him?” Jack asks, liking the sound of what he’s being asked less and less. 

“Yes.” She glances at Ianto who still hasn't woken, before continuing quietly. “The method execution for those convicted of treason is beheading, and Grell’s wound is such that the nerves leading to his arm are affected and he will not be able to draw the wire without assistance.” 

It's a quick if unpleasant method of execution, and Jack knows his distaste must show on his face as the Shipmother says, “I am not sure what the customs are where you come from, if this is something you feel able to do. But I believe he would not have thought to ask it of you unless he thought there was a good chance that you would agree.”

“What happens if I don't?” 

The Shipmother thinks for a moment then says, “I believe he will ask your mate. He wishes for a human to join him in this. You must understand that this is not simply a matter of seeking assistance, this is about making a wider statement. It's about showing the Devor and Humans as allies, that we go forward together.”

It makes sense, but Jack still doesn't like it. But he's not going to put Ianto in a position where he's going to be asked to do this. Because despite the fact that it would be terrible thing to have to attempt to do even if he had time build up his shielding, Ianto would, he's almost certain, agree to it, even if it cost him dearly. The young man's sense of duty and trying to do what is best for the majority nearly always seeming to win out over any kind of self preservation. 

“Tell Grell I'll do it,” Jack says, not wanting to think about it further. 

“You need to discuss it with him in person, I have only told you this now as I believe it to be the right thing to do.” Looking once again at Ianto, she says, “You are doing this for him, aren't you? If the choice wasn't going to also be offered to him you would have refused.”

“That obvious, huh?” 

“That you care greatly for him? Yes, it is.” She puts her hand on Jack's arm. “It is nothing to be shy about.” 

Jack laughs. “Believe me, nobody who knows me would ever call me shy about anything.”

“That may be true. But I do not believe you have made how you feel clear to him. You look at him with the longing of somebody who is yet to speak his mind.” A sad look crosses her face. “And believe me when I say I understand longing.” 

“It's not that easy.” Jack looks at Ianto with a sad smile. 

“It is only as easy or hard as you make it. Now, time is short, and you need to wake him if you wish him to come with you.”

“I know.” It doesn't make deciding what to do any easier though. What ever decision he eventually comes to Jack knows he's got to get the situation with Grell out of the way first.

“Time to get up,” Jack says, placing a hand lightly on Ianto's shoulder.

Ianto wakes with a start as Jack touches him, sitting up and looking around, eyes wide and scared. Seeing the Shipmother, he says, “Is it time for me to tell them what I saw?”

“No.” Jack tries to project a calm that he doesn't really feel, hoping that it will help. “They've already had the trial, and found Vron guilty.”

“I see,” Ianto says sounding torn between relief that he's not going to have to take part in it, and concern for what it means for them. “Does this mean we can go now?”

Really wishing that it did, Jack says, “Soon. I have to talk to Grell first.”

“He’s alright then?” Ianto asks sounding relieved. 

“Not really. He needs me to help him with the sentencing.”

When Ianto doesn’t reply, Jack says, “How are you holding up?” 

“Still a rather on edge.” Ianto smiles an obviously forced smile, trying to put him at ease. “I’ll be alright once this is over.” 

Jack doesn’t contradict him, he knows it wouldn’t do any good. Instead he places a hand on Ianto’s shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze, “Come on, sooner I get this done the sooner I can get you home.”

Ianto tenses at Jack’s touch, and more at his words, “Are you not coming home as well?”

“What?” The question takes Jack by surprise.

“You said you were going to get me home. What about you? Are not coming back with me?” he asks, a worried frown forming. “What will I tell the team?” 

“Of course I’m coming back.” 

“You mean it,” he says sounding genuinely surprised. 

“You really thought I'd lie to you about that?” Jack says, sounding hurt. 

Sighing, Ianto says, “I don't know. You keep the truth from us so often, and it's not always when it's something we'd be better off not knowing, sometimes it's things we need to know to do our jobs. I understand needing secrets, but some of the things you don't tell us, I just don't see the point.” 

“Do the rest of the team think like that?” Jack asks, concerned that the team might not trust him. The job they do is difficult enough without them questioning or second guessing the decisions that he makes. 

“Gwen still finds it part of your mysterious charm, but I think even for her it's starting to wear a little thin. Owen and Tosh I'm less sure about, but if I had to guess I'd say they think you do it to keep us under control, so that we need you. You try to buy our loyalty through ignorance of the dangers we face.”

“Do you think that?” Jack asks, horrified that there's could such mistrust of him in the team and that he's not even notices it. He's not sure any more why he keeps something secret from them, sometimes it's because he's sure they'd be better off not knowing, sometimes it's when it might reveal how long he's worked at Torchwood or the fact he can't die. And sometimes even he's not sure why he does it.

The Shipmother taps her clawed toes on the floor. “I do not mean to rush you, but do you think you could continue this at a later time?” 

“She's right, we can talk about this later. If you want to that is,” Ianto says, moving towards the door. “But if it helps I don't think you mean any harm in not telling us these things, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” He smiles sadly. “As I know only too well. So just think before you decide not to tell us something, who are you really doing it for?”

“I'll try.” It's hard though, he's spent too long having to keep so much of his life hidden for so many reasons. Being an immortal time traveller from the future with a very broad definition of love had made living through the 19th and 20th centuries a challenging experience, and often keeping secrets was the only thing that kept him and those he loved safe. 

They follow the Shipmother out of the room and along a series of corridors. They pass a few other Devor, mostly guards or crew who operate the ship, which leads Jack to believe that the route they are being taken on is mostly service corridors which aren't used by most of the inhabitants of the ship. 

Eventually they reach what what must be Grell's private suite of rooms, the décor reminiscent of what Jack had seen on the monitor in Jubel's ship the previous day. 

Stopping in a reception room, the Shipmother says, “Grell is waiting in through there. I will wait here.” She looks at Ianto. “You should remain here as well.”

“You don't have to,” Jack says, not really wanting to leave Ianto on his own yet. 

“I'll be alright. Go and do what you need to,” Ianto says sitting down on a chair next to the Shipmother, who is pouring a drink for them both. 

“Okay.” Jack nods and then knocks on the side of the door frame, the door itself has been replaced at some point with a bead curtain. 

“You took your time. Come in.” 

Inside, Grell is sitting propped up in a chair, while a medic changes the blood soaked dressing on the side of his neck. 

“The Shipmother told me you wished to see me,” Jack says, knowing that any attempt at pleasantries is unlikely go down well. 

“I doubt that's all she said,” Grell says wearily, although the tiredness doesn't seem to be directed at her, more at life in general. “She is a good soul. She wants to do right by everybody. If we had a few more like her life would be so much easier.”

“She did tell me why.” 

“And your answer?”

“I'll do it.” Jack doesn't like it, and if there was another option he'd take it, but there isn't and he's got very good over the years at taking the least bad option and living with. 

“Good. I don't have the energy to argue this or to make some grand case why it need to happen like this. Yet you deserve an answer for why I ask this. I'm the last Devor who was at Telemer,” Grell says slowly, breath wheezing, as he tries and fails to sit a little straighter. “Those that haven't died in other ways have succumbed to this.” 

He nods to the medic who pulls up the sleeve covering his right arm. The scales beneath are thin and cracked, their surface mottled grey and yellow.

Grell looks at Jack with weary eyes. “It is not a good death.”

“I understand.” Given the number and variety of deaths he’s had over the years, Jack knows that while no death is exactly good there are definitely some which are quicker and less painful than others. 

“I thought you might.” There's something close to relief in his voice. “I had not planned on dying so soon, but this will give the Devor a direction where as a slow fade into pain and insanity would give opportunity to those who oppose the changes I've brought in.”

“So with treatment you could survive?” 

“Not long enough to do what I need to do, just few months, maybe a year. But I wouldn't be able to lead for much of that.” Grell closes his eyes. “There is still so much left undone.”

An awkward silence stretches out between them. Jack can't think of anything that he could say or do to make this any better. 

Grell sighs and slumps further into his chair. “I had not wishes to end my time so soon, but I've always taken the chances life gives me. And today I want them all to see Devor and Human united again those who would bring unrest, would would drag us back to conflict with our neighbours.” He opens his eyes slowly, and smile. “I will let this and my death be my last act as leader, that maybe it will inspire them to peace. I can do no more.” 

“I know,” Jack says, meaning it. He might not always like how Grell has carried out his role as leader, but he's lead his people in chaos that followed Telemer and brought them from being a backwater nation to one respected and known throughout the sector. 

“Then I will leave you to get ready, the ceremony is in under an hour,” Grell says. Then waves the medic back to him. 

Realising that their conversation is over, Jack leaves. As he does he can hear Grell and the medic arguing, “Just give me enough me enough painkillers and stimulants to get me through the bloody ceremony.” 

“But the long term damage…”

“Doesn’t matter, you know it doesn't,” Grell says irritably. “I’ve got a few hours tops, so just do it, or I'll do it myself.”

“You spoke to him?” the Shipmother asks, getting up from her seat as Jack reaches her. 

“Yes, and I said I do it.”

She nods. “If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to speak with him, as I am not sure when I shall have another chance.”

“Sure, go ahead. We'll wait here,” Jack says, moving closer to Ianto. 

“Thank you,” She dips her head, and then hurries over to Grell's room. 

“What does he want you to do?” Ianto asks, once the Shipmother has gone. 

“To help him to execute Vron,” Jack says, knowing there is no avoiding telling Ianto this, even if he wishes there was. 

There's a brief look of horror on Ianto's face, before the well practised unreadable expression takes its place. “Did you agree?” 

“Yeah,” Jack replies, trying not to think too closing about it. 

“Why did he ask you?” Ianto says, half curious half accusatory. “I helped catch him, they wouldn't be having this trial if I hadn't. Why aren't they asking me to do this?”

“Because Grell wanted it to be me,” Jack says, deciding that this really needs to be one those times where he keeps whole truth to himself. “Because I knew him before he became who he is now. Because I was at Telemer and he wants to draw a line under it before he dies.” 

“So this isn't some misguided attempt to protect me?” Ianto asks, sounding like he still doesn't entirely believe him.

“No.” Jack runs his hands down Ianto's arms. “Would it really be so awful if it was?”

“I don't need protecting.” Ianto turns away from Jack. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can. I'm not every going to doubt that.” Jack moves round so that he's in front of him again. “But your shielding is shot to hell at the moment. Being so close to death, helping to cause it, you really think that's a good idea right now?” 

Ianto shakes his head slowly. “No. It's never the best idea at any time, but right now it would be very, very bad.”

“Then what’s the problem?” 

He gives Jack a look that clearly means 'you should know this without being told,' before saying, “I don't think you should do it either.”

“Not really got much choice.” It's not strictly true as he could let Ianto do it or maybe refuse on behalf of both of them, but that's just going to make a bad situation worse for everybody. 

“I know.” Ianto closes his eyes and hangs his head. “But I really wish you didn't have to.” 

“Me too,” Jack says, taking hold of Ianto's hand. Then, sitting down next to him, he waits for the Shipmother to return.


	13. Chapter 13

It doesn't take the Shipmother long to return, although from her expression she's less than happy with whatever answers Grell has given her. 

“I would offer you some refreshments before we go, but there is little time, or so Grell tells me,” she says sadly. “I hope that there will be time afterwards, but I cannot be sure of that. There maybe other matter that require my attention.”

“I understand.” Jack's not sure what the Shipmother's role is when the head of one of the houses dies, but he guesses busy probably doesn't even begin to cover it. “So where are we going?” 

“To the auditorium, it's where we hold everything legal or political.” There is fondness in her voice as she says, “It was Grell's idea to build it, to bring back something from our past. He doesn't like the idea of leaders making laws in secret. He says it's too easy for them to hide from blame if what they decide is wrong.”

Whether it actually works, Jack doesn't know. He suspects that however open a system appears there will always be people doing deals and pulling strings behind the scenes. 

They follow the Shipmother down seemingly endless corridors. Which, when Jack has just about given up hope of them getting anywhere any time soon, end abruptly in an archway, the featureless metal walls giving way to a surface that, while not stone, has been coloured and textured to look like it. 

"This is the main habitation level of the ship," the Shipmother says, as they walk under the arch and into what could easily be a Devor colony world. 

"It's like a city," Ianto says looking around. "The ship must be enormous."

Jack has to agree. The roof, which is probably the best part of a hundred feet above their heads, is supported by just a few columns helping to give the impression that they are outside. It has even been lit to look like a blue sky on a sunny day. While around them the paved streets lined with traditional hexagonal Devor courtyard houses complete with trees and gardens. 

It's also quiet, almost eerily so, and looking around Jack can't see any sign of people who live here. 

"You think something is wrong, don't you?" Ianto says, moving a little close to him.

Before Jack can answer, the Shipmother says, "They are all at the auditorium. Today was declared a national free day, so that everybody who wanted to attend could." 

"There are that many people who to see someone die?" Ianto asks, sounding appalled at the idea that death might be seen as entertainment here. 

"It's the first in nearly thirty years. There's some grim curiosity to it. For myself I'd rather not be present," she says sadly. "However my role means there is little choice. The children will have questions, and I cannot give answers, nor talk with authority on something I have not seen."

“I suppose that's something,” Ianto says quietly.

Jack gives him a questioning look. 

“That there won't be children there. Children shouldn't have to see somebody die.” 

“You don't have to be there either, you know that?” Jack says, stopping and taking hold of Ianto's arm, hating the haunted look in his eyes. “I'm not going to think any less of you for not wanting to watch.”

“It's because of me that Vron is there,” Ianto says, looking at Jack's hand on his arm. “I need to do this. Do you understand, don't you?”

“Yes.” Jack wishes in a way that he didn't, another part of him is proud that Ianto is willing to see this through to the end. It's this attitude that he knows will one day Ianto make a good leader, one better than himself. He see the bigger picture, but he never forgets the people who's sacrifices make it possible. 

The auditorium where the execution is to be held is a bowl shaped structure cut into an artificial hillside, the weathered looking sandy coloured stone giving at look of age and permanency. 

Projection screens have been hung on the exterior, all the seats inside already filled, so the space around the building is crowded with Devor all taking at once. 

They move aside as the Shipmother approaches letting them through and into the structure. 

“Grell will be here soon,” the Shipmother says, stopping at an archway that leads out into the large open space in the centre of the auditorium. “You wait here for him. Ianto, you can sit with me. I will do my best to explain what is going on.”

Jack hates the idea of leaving Ianto alone in this strange place, but he knows can hardly take Ianto with him. Having him stand right next to him as Vron is killed would be nearly as bad getting him to do it himself. 

“If you feels like it's getting to much I want you to get out of there, right?” Jack says, catching hold of Ianto hand as he turns to leave. 

“I will if I can.”

It's not really the reassurance that Jack wants, but he knows that he's going to have to do, and the he somewhat reluctantly lets go of his hand.

He watches them until they are lost in the crowd. 

Through the archway, Jack can see Vron. Flanked by two armed guards and bound hand and foot, he is kneeling on a raised stone platform in the centre of the auditorium. There are traces of blood on the tattered frills around his neck and one eye nearly swollen shut, and Jack tries to recall whether those injuries had been caused when Ianto tackled him to the ground or if Vron's questioning has taken a more physical form.

He's not sure, not that it makes any difference, he can't change it. Turning away, leans again the wall. He just wants this to be over as quickly as possible and for Ianto and himself to be on their way. 

Jack doesn't have to wait long. As Grell, flanked by two guards, join him at the entrance of the auditorium just a few moment later. 

The Sto designed business suit is gone, replaced by the ceremonial armour and cloak of the leader of one of the major houses of the Devor. He clutches the staff tightly, leaning on it for support, and Jack has to wonder whether Grell will manage to stay on his feet long enough to carry out the sentencing. 

“Are you ready?” Grell asks as he stops next to Jack. 

“As I'll every be.” It's not exactly lie, but the truth, that's he hates to have to do this is something that he knows that Grell neither wants and needs to hear. “You want a hand getting out there?”

“No. I must show no weakness in front of them. You follow a step or two behind,” Grell says, and then without waiting to see if Jack is going to follow makes his way out into the open space. 

The chatter that had filled the enormous space grows louder for a moment as Grell appears, before dying away as he ponderously makes his way up the few steps to stand on the platform next to Vron. 

One of Vron's guards fixes a microphone to the top of Grell's cloak, then steps back to allow him to address the audience. 

“This will be my last speech to you as head of this House, my last speech to any of you. It has been an honour to lead you, and I am sure the peace and prosperity that you have worked so hard for will continue without me. That the new laws we created together for the good of us all will stand long after my death. That my legacy as leader will be one of peace. 

So my last message to you is this. Be proud of your parts in this great endeavour, tell it to your children and they will tell it to theirs in turn. Immortality our names through our deeds is a shared heritage amongst all the Houses, and you will surely take your places in history as the generations that made the Devor great once more.”

Jack has to admit, even when drugged and in pain, Grell is still a good speaker. 

“You see this death today.” Grell gestures at Vron, who hasn't moved or made any effort to speak. “Do not glory it in, see it for the horror that it is, but know that had he succeeded he would have brought down deaths in far greater number upon us all.” 

Grell wait a moment for his words to sink in with the crowd before continuing. “He broke the treaty of non-aggression treaty on Aphelion, and but for the quick actions this human.” He turns and looks at Jack. “And his companion, I would already be dead, and it would surely have been discovered by authorities on Aphelion.” 

“This is the same man who saved my life and many others of this house after the attack on Telemer. He returned today to collect the life debt I owed him. He chose freely to write of that life debt in exchange for the monies owed by a friend. He is a good man. He is as most humans are. Never forget his.”

Grell turns slowly around, looking at crowds, gauging their reaction, before continuing. “Many of you remember the dark days after Telemer, when due to the indiscriminate vengeance we sort we were forced to withdraw from our colony worlds. Our ships became overcrowded slums, disease and violences were our constant companions. We became a pariah nation, turned away from worlds. Yet we over came this. But he.” Grell points at Vron, his hand shaking with the effort of remaining on his feet. “He would have destroyed a whole generation of work, your work, because he believes in vengeance again those who are long dead and gone.”

Jack can see Grell starting to struggle from the effort of giving the speech, the dressing on his neck increasingly blood stained. Moving a little closer to him, Jack readies himself to catch him if he starts to fall. 

“Our house, and many others, has long had the saying that vengeance is a song as old as time, that blood calls out for blood. I say no more. Now is the time to begin a new song. One of hope and of peace. Let us sing is loud enough that all the houses hear and heed it. ”

The Devor are silent for a moment, then clapping starts, slow at first but rapidly growing until nearly everyone in the auditorium is on their feet applauding. 

Grell raises his staff with some effort, signalling to them that he wishes them to be quiet once more. 

“Let his death draw a line under the past, and serve as warning to those who would destroy our future.” 

Grell dips his head slightly in the direction of the council of elders. 

They return the nod and raise their ceremonial staffs, before bringing them back to the floor. The metal shod ends of staffs strike stones, the rhythm building faster and louder until it's almost a single continuous beat. Then suddenly it stops and everything is silent, an expectant, breathless hush falling over all assembled. 

“Now,” Grell rasps under his breath, pushing one of the handles attached to the wire around Vron's neck into Jack's hand. “Pull it.” 

Closing his eyes, Jack pulls hard on the handle. 

The fine, razor sharp wire cuts through Vron's neck with almost no effort and he dies without a sound. 

Jack can feel the warm rush of blood onto his hands and he swallows hard, feeling sick. 

There's relief that there's no cheer from the crowds, just a hushed, stunned silence of those unaccustomed to such a death. The relief though is rapidly replaced with concern as he realises that Ianto is somewhere amongst that shocked and silent crowd.

Opening his eyes, Jack looks around, seeking him out. He's almost convinced himself that Ianto has already left, when he finally sees him. 

Stood with the Shipmother, just to the side of the section of seating reserved for the Elders, Ianto stares down at him, eyes wide and face pale. 

Before Jack can ask if he can leave, Grell sways on his feet, his staff clattering off the edge of the platform. 

One of the guards catches Grell, helping him to sit down.

Looking up at Jack, he takes a wheezing breath, as one of the guards tries mostly unsuccessfully to stem the grow stream of blood down his neck.“You can do no more here, but I thank you for all you have done. Now go, and go luck go with you.”

Jack doesn't need to be told twice. Taking the steps down from the platform two at a time, he hurries back towards the archway, determined to find Ianto before the shocked and saddened atmosphere of the place can get to him. 

Pushing through the crowd, ignoring the shouts of surprise and annoyance, Jack makes his way over to where he'd last see him. 

When he finally gets there the seats are empty. Feeling rather more panicked about this than he knows is reasonable, given that he'd told Ianto to get out if it was getting too much, Jack looks wildly around, before calling out, “Ianto! Ianto, where are you, are you still here?” 

Two of the Elders remain in their seats, the rest already making there way down to where Grell is sitting on the edge of the central platform, the guard still keeping pressure on the wound.

Looking rather put out by Jack's intrusion, they point disdainfully toward the exit. 

Hoping that they mean Ianto and the Shipmother have gone outside, rather than that they just want him to leave, Jack smiles at them then hurries away.


	14. Chapter 14

Once outside it doesn't take Jack long to find them. Sitting on a bench just to the side of the auditorium, Ianto has is hands braced against his knees, as he takes deep, shuddering breaths. While beside him, the Shipmother rubs his back, trying to calm him. 

“You did not tell me he is a sensitive,” the Shipmother says as Jack approaches. “I would have found somewhere outside for him to wait if I had know. You should not have placed him in such a position, not when he is untrained.”

“He said he'd be alright.” 

“I am. I will be, really. I just need a few more minutes,” Ianto says, sounding disorientated as he stares glassy eyed at the blood on Jack's hands. A moment later he dives off the bench. Staggering a few steps away, he doubles over, and retches into the gutter. 

“Go and wash your hands. You're upsetting him,” the Shipmother says, sounding annoyed for the first time since they've met her. “We'll be here when you get back.” 

Cursing his thoughtlessness, Jack looks around. There's a fountain not too far away, and after a quick glance about to make sure nobody is about to tell him that he can't, Jack washes his hands in it. 

The blood hasn't dried yet and washes off relatively easily, but Jack waits until he sees the Shipmother help Ianto back to the seat before walking back over to them.

Stopping before he gets too close, he asks, “Do you need me to keep away for a while longer?” 

Shivering, arms wrapped about himself, Ianto shakes his head, looking wretched. 

“Come, he needs quiet,” the Shipmother says, guiding them back through the crowds still gathered around the auditorium. She puts a hand on Ianto's shoulder. “I will find somewhere you can clean yourself up.”

The walk through the streets is much shorter than the one through the corridors, a fact for which Jack is grateful. As although Ianto looks marginally better once they are away from the crowds, he is still pale and shivering, when they eventually stop outside a small building at the edge of a series of sports pitches.

“You will not be disturbed here,” the Shipmother says, unlocking the door for them. “I must leave you both for a short time, there are things that I need to attend to, but I will return as soon as I am able.”

“Sure, take as long as you need.” Jack suspects it's in connection with Grell. He's not sure if she'd seen Grell's near collapse in the auditorium, but he has no doubt that she knows his time is short. 

Once they are inside it's obvious that the building is dressing rooms and showers for the sports pitches. 

Walking over to a row of sinks, Ianto looks in the mirror at his ruined shirt, the rips and stains caused by his scuffle with Vron now joined with flecks of vomit. 

“Told you you should have let me have the shirt,” Jack says, keeping his tone light, hoping that it will help Ianto feel more at ease. 

“You might be right,” Ianto replies quietly, as he unfastens the remaining buttons with shaking fingers. 

Turning away, Jack gives him a few minutes to clean himself up. It's not warm enough to sit or walk around topless, and once he's decided he's given him long enough he turns back. 

Bruises sustained tackling Vron to the ground are visible on Ianto's arms and chest. Taking off his greatcoat, Jack holds it out to him. “You need this more than me.” 

“Thank you,” Ianto says, teeth chattering slightly, as he accepts it. 

Ianto bare chested beneath the greatcoat is, Jack thinks, a really rather appealing image. If Ianto were feeling better, he's sure that he'd be tempted to slip his arms about his waist and to hold him close. It would be even better if he were bare chested too, and able to feel the short curling hairs on Ianto's chest again own. 

Ianto is looking at him with a faintly amused smile. “You never switch off, do you?”

“I see a gorgeous guy, my minds only going one place,” Jack says, relieved that not only does Ianto sound a little less shocky than he'd done before, but that that he apparently doesn't mine the sort of thoughts he's having about him. Appearances with Ianto though are often deceiving, and he asks, “How are doing?”

“I'm not sure yet,” Ianto says, sitting down on the row of benches and pulling the coat tighter about himself. “I keep thinking I'm going to be fine, and then suddenly it all seems too much again, and I…” He stops looking unwilling to say more.

Although he's not keen on pushing him when he's like this, Jack thinks that letting Ianto keep it all inside is probably going to be worse in the long run than trying to get him to talk about it. “Look, I know you probably don't want to talk, but I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong.” 

Hands clasped tightly in his lap, Ianto sighs. “I just want to to go home. I want clothes that don't have blood on them. I want put on some music and hide in my bed and block the world until I know which feelings are mine and which aren't. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

It isn't, because Jack had been hoping there would be something that he could do there and then. “I'll just have to make sure we get home fast then, won't I?”

“I'll manage until then. I always do.” There's an undercurrent of bitterness in his voice that he can't quite hide, and he sighs again. “What will happen now? Here I mean.” 

“Once Grell dies state mourning for a week or so I guess, and then who knows. Grell hoped this would head off any reprisals. I only hope he was right.” 

“Would it have been any different if I'd told them what I saw?” 

“No.” Jack puts a hand on his shoulder. “Vron killed Grell, and their law says he had to die for that. I know it’s hard to understand, you’ve never lived anywhere with the death penalty, but some places…”

Ianto gives him a withering look. “Don’t patronise me. I’m not a child who doesn’t understand what the world is like.” 

“Okay.” 

“No, it’s not okay,” Ianto says angrily. Standing up again, he turn away, wiping a hand across his eyes. “I just helped send somebody to their death.”

It would be too easy to retaliate and point out he'd actually had to do the killing. It doesn't make Ianto's point any less valid though. It's a bad situation for all concerned. Sighing, Jack says, “Vron knew what the penalty would be if he were caught when he decided to kill Grell, and he did it anyway. None of this is your fault.”

“I know.” Ianto hangs his head, looking exhausted. “But I hate it. I hate feeling all this. I just want to be able to shut it out.”

“We're going to need to work on your shielding when we get back,” Jack says, wanting to turn the subject back towards something positive. 

“You know how?” 

“Not really,” Jack admits. Leaning back against the wall he sighs. “I did some basic telepath training once. I could manage the blocking part, but not much else. I could try to teach you what I remember of it, and maybe something will work.” 

“And that raises so many more questions that it answers.” 

“Would it help if I said it was long ago and...”

“And in a galaxy far far away?” Ianto rolls his eyes. “Great, I'm considering sleeping with Obi-Wan Kenobi randy younger cousin.”

Jack laughs, then realises Ianto is staring at him. 

“I said that out loud, didn't I?” Ianto says, covering his face with a hand. “You should probably ignore that. I mean I'm not really thinking that well at the moment.”

“You're thinking just fine.” Jack puts his arms around him. Relieved to find that he doesn't tense up or pull away, he adds, “And you know how I feel about you. You must do.”

“You feel lots of different things about me, and they may all be true at the time you feel them.” Ianto smiles sadly. “But that doesn't tell me what you really think about me.”

“What am I feeling right now?” Taking hold of Ianto's hand, Jack places it over his heart. He knows that it won't improve Ianto's ability to sense what he's feeling, but he hope it will help him understand that what he feels is more than a passing lustful infatuation. 

“You're worried and upset, and trying not to let it show, You care about me.” Ianto opens his eyes, surprised and pleased “You really care a lot about me.” 

“And don't you every doubt that, not for a minute.”

There's a knock at the door and Jack reluctantly lets go of Ianto. 

Opening the door, he find the Shipmother outside. “Is something wrong?”

“No, but it is time for you to go.” She looks over at Ianto who is buttoning up the greatcoat. “Although if you need a little longer, I can wait.”

Ianto blushes slightly, and says, “No, we're ready.” 

One day, Jack thinks, we're going to find time for an uninterrupted conversation, even if it means putting the Hub into lockdown with us both inside when we get back. 

“Is there a reason you want to get rid us so quickly?” Jack asks, as they walk back through the ship to the room they’d teleported into when they first arrived. 

“A number of the elders, mostly those in opposition to what Grell was trying to do, objected to the fact that you'd been brought on board at all,” she says, handing Jack one of the teleportation bracelets that they'd used to come aboard the Devor ship. “They think you should have been left on the planet.”

“Are we in danger if we remain here?” Ianto asks, looking around, seeming to expect armed guards lurking in every shadow.

“No, but it would be better for you and for us if you were to go. There are many things to arrange now that Grell has passed, and I will not have the time to spend with you to explain what is going on.”

“He's dead then?” Jack knows that Grell knew he didn't have long, but this is faster than he'd thought, and he finds that he wishes he'd had a chance to say goodbye. 

“Yes, and I shall miss him greatly. But he takes his place in history, and our lives go on. Your lives need to go on too.” She points to the stone in the centre of the bracelet. “Press it once and it will return you to the gardens where the debt was settled. I've already set the coordinates.” 

“You're giving this to us?” It's unusual for Devorians to give anything of any value, in Jack's experience. Trade, or a least owing a favour for it, are much more their style. 

“It's only got enough power for one more short trip after this,” she says, placing it around Jack's wrist. “Then the energy will be spent. It will nothing more than jewellery.”

“Thank you,” Ianto says smiling at her. “You've been very kind to us.”

“It is no more than you deserve. You have helped us in what is a trying time, and asked for nothing of my house in return.”

“Your house?” Jack asks, curious that she should refer to it as such, when she hasn't done so until now.

“It was what Grell asked of me when I spoke to him. That I take over as the head of this house,” she says sadly. “If I had known then that would be the last time would be able to speak with him I should have said more, told him so many things.” 

“It sounds like you already know what you're going to do,” Jack says, knowing all too well the look of weary resignation in her eyes.

“You are right. It is a choice, yet it is no choice at all. I think he knew that anybody standing in opposition to my appointment would struggle to find favour in any quarter. All the same it is not an office I sort, nor would have wanted under such circumstances.” She looks down as one of the gems in the bracelet she wears flashes briefly. “The elders wish to see me, and I cannot keep them waiting.” 

The Shipmother dips her head, and takes a step back to give them room to teleport. “Now go, and may good luck go with you.” 

Jack raises a hand in salute. “You too.” 

Lowering his arm, he puts it around Ianto. “Hold on tight.” 

Jack presses the largest of the gems. For a moment nothing seems to be happening then it starts to glow faintly, before bursting into a bright flash of light. 

Closing his eyes, Jack's aware of the same dizzying sensation as before, and when he reopens them they're back in the gardens by the Customs House on Aphelion. 

Dawn is little more than an hour away, if the first few streaks of light already appearing on the horizon are anything to go by. The gardens are deserted, the city around it only just starting to wake up again. 

Stumbling slightly, Ianto makes his way to one of the benches and sits down. Hunching forwards, looking cold and miserable, he says, “Were stuck here, aren't we? Jubel's gone.”

Jack would like to be able to tell him otherwise, but everything he knows about Jubel tells him that he would have taken Sibel and run. They’re stranded on an alien world with little money, no contacts and no way home.


	15. Chapter 15

Sitting down on the bench next to Ianto, Jack says, “Whatever happens, I'll get us home. I promise.”

He knows that for himself there are plenty of options. Not all of them are legal and they certainly aren't all fun, but then quick money rarely is in his experience. The problem lies in the fact that they would place Ianto at a level of risk that he finds unacceptable. Getting separated from him, leaving him alone and unable to speak any of the languages around him to ask for help and without any money for even the most basic essentials isn't an option. They have to stick together no matter what.

A working passage on a ship is a possibility, but ships travelling from Aphelion on a path close enough for them to teleport down to Earth are going to be few and far between. One could turn up tomorrow or they could wait for months and then find the ship isn't hiring. 

Cold, tired and miserable, Jack sighs and closes his eyes. It's likely to be weeks before they're back in Cardiff, and knowing how his luck has been recently, Jack thinks bitterly, it would be in the time they are away that the Doctor would finally put in an appearance. And then what? Decades, centuries more of waiting, wondering if whatever the hell it is that's keeping him alive is just going to stop. 

Beside him, Jack feels Ianto start to shiver again, and he shakes his head trying to clear away the negative thoughts, aware that Ianto must be picking up on his mood. 

Realising that Ianto hasn't acknowledged what he said about getting them home, Jack says, “Hey, you okay?”

There's still no response, and Jack takes hold of his hand. It's cold, but thin sheen of sweat clings to the back of it.

“Oh hell,” Jack says under his breath. Ianto has been borderline for psychic shock since catching Vron hours before, and looking at him now Jack can see he's barely holding on. The cumulative effect of everything that has happened in the last couple of days on top of the terrible year before it finally catching up with him. 

“Come on, you stay with me,” Jack says rubbing Ianto's hands, trying to warm them and make his realise he's not alone and that he's safe. 

Ianto nods, the movement jerky like it's taking all his concentration, the street lights reflecting off the tears that are starting to roll down his cheeks. “I...sorry.” 

“There's nothing to be sorry for,” Jack says trying to stop himself from worrying. His own fears are the last thing Ianto needs to be exposed to right now. 

Quickly, he runs through their options. He can try to get Ianto somewhere quiet and hope that not having other peoples' feelings intruding on his own will help. Only if that was going to work being here in the gardens should already be working. 

The other option is to take him somewhere that's full of life, and happy or at least neutral thoughts.   
He remembers what Ianto had said about playing in the Red Dragon pub back in Cardiff, how the good mood of the people around him really did help. 

Finding anywhere like that here at that's still open around dawn is unlikely, even in a place as busy as Aphelion. A cafe close to the space port is probably their best bet. 

Trying to project a air of calm, Jack says, “Come on, let's get some breakfast. My treat.” He smiles at Ianto. “What do you say?”

He doesn't answer, although he squeezes his hand. 

“You're going to have to get up,” Jack says trying to jolly him along. “I don't think they'll deliver it out here. ” 

Ianto mumbles something indistinct, then gets unsteadily to his feet, nearly falling into Jack as he does. 

Putting an arm about his waist, Jack guides Ianto who seems almost completely oblivious to their surroundings, through the nearly empty streets. 

It isn't that far to the spaceport, but Jack is starting to consider whether picking his up and carrying him is viable when he sees the lit up windows of a cafe, the neon sign over door proclaiming it to be 'Plox's all world eatery' 

Despite the early hour it's packed, although fortunately as they arrive a couple of the customers leave. The mood in the place is good as far as Jack can tell, as he pushes his way through the press of customers surrounding the counter, almost dragging Ianto with him, until they get to the empty seat. 

“I'm going to get us something to eat, okay?” Jack makes sure he's got eye contact before he continues. “You're going to alright, and I'll back soon.”

Ianto nods again, hands gripping the edge of the table. 

Behind the counter a short, blue, vaguely humanoid figure sits on a floating metal disk. He takes orders, while the ten mechanical arms that radiate out from the disk take money, cook, serve food, make drinks, and load the the dishwasher. 

“Looks like you wore your man out,” Plox says with a laugh, glancing past Jack to where Ianto looks like he about to fall asleep across the table.

“We were up all night,” Jack says with a grin, deciding to let him make whatever of that he wants. “So what you got that's hot and sweet?” 

Plox laughs again. “If you're angling for a discount you're out of luck.” He quickly serves up a plate of fried pastries filled with a thick fruit paste and two mugs of what Jack can only really describe as tea with added mint and caramel. 

Handing one of the mechanical arms a couple of credit chips he's kept pushed into a small gap in the leather of his vortex manipulator for just such an occasion, Jack heads back over to Ianto. 

He puts one mug in front of him, then sits down. 

Ianto's hands move slowly, like it's taking a conscious effort to control them, as grips the mug. 

“It's even better if you actually drink it,” Jack says encouragingly, after Ianto has made no move to do anything other than use it as a hand warmer. He drinks some of his own, then adds, “Not as good as your coffee, but it's still good.” 

Ianto blinks, and then stares down at it, an almost puzzled expression on his face, as if he's only just realised it's still there. 

“Ianto, please.” Jack leans in closer to him. “You've got to try.”

Closing his eyes, Ianto hangs his head, and for a moment Jack thinks that he's about to cry or maybe even pass out. Then with shaking hands he carefully lifts the mug and drinks. 

It's hard waiting and trying not to let any of his own fears take hold as time crawls slowly by, the pre-dawn gloom outside gradually brightening into early morning sunlight. Slowly though, Jack can see Ianto become more aware of his surroundings, his eyes following what's going on rather than appearing to be fixed on some distant thing only he can see. 

Once Ianto has drunk half his drink, Jack pushes the plate towards him. “You want to try and eat something?” 

He nods, and picks up one of the pastries. 

Only once Ianto has finished it and started on a second does Jack ask, “How you doing?” 

Ianto voice sounds rough when he finally speaks, “Not about to run away screaming. So a little better, I think.” 

Jack feels himself relax slightly, glad that Ianto is at least coherent and talking again. Although he doesn't want to push him too much there's one thing that he needs to know. “Is this the first time this has happened?” 

“No,” Ianto admits quietly. “There's been a few other times. The last was after Lisa. After I went home, after you let me go home. I don't remember anything much about the next two days.” 

“We did call you, and you answered. We thought you sounded drunk, and...” Jack stops, suddenly feeling ashamed of what they'd done, or rather hadn't done, next. “You were alive and we were busy, so we just left you to it.” 

“At least you called.” He smiles wanly. “I didn't think you had.”

“We should have done more.” Jack looks away, feeling too guilty to accept the fact that Ianto is actually grateful that they'd even thought to see how he was. 

“Given what had just happened it was more than you needed to.” 

Jack's not sure he's ever going to be able to believe that even if Ianto does, and silence stretches out between them. 

Uncertain of what to say to him without making things worse, Jack eventually opts for, “How about I get us another drink?” 

Looking relieved that he's not going to be asked any more questions, Ianto replies, “That sounds good.” 

“It's pretty busy in here,” Jack says to Plox once he's back at the counter. The cafe is still as packed as when he and Ianto had first arrived, which gives him an idea, and he asks, “I don't suppose you'd up for hiring any new staff?”

“No can do.” 

“Any reason why not?” Jack persists. Cafe work might not be the best paid, but there are worse jobs, and there was always the chance of overhearing something that might be to their advantage here. 

“Because this place'll be deader than once they've fixed the problem at the spaceport.”

And this, thinks Jack, is just the sort of information that he's been waiting to hear. “And what problem is that?”

“Some fool freighter pilot out on strip three tried to take off before he'd finished transmitting the disembarkation codes. Whole flaming system went caput, they've had to reboot the entire exit grid.” Plox puts half a dozen more burgers onto a hot plate. “Best day's trading I've had weeks.” 

“They'll give any one who can pick up a form a pilots license to anyone these days,” grumbles a Hath, sitting on one of the stools by the counter. “In my day we had to...”

Strip three was where they'd put in, and Jack feels a flare of hope that perhaps Jubel has got caught up in this, that's he's not had the chance leave them behind yet. 

Leaving them talking about the good old days, he hurries back over to Ianto. “Change of plan. Looks like Jubel could still be at the spaceport...” 

“What are we waiting for?” Ianto says standing up. “Let's go.” 

The movement is a little too fast, and Jack can see him sway for a moment before, before he manages to steady himself, hands pressed flat against the table top.

“Steady.” Jack puts a hand on his shoulder. “If you're not up to walking we'll think of something else.”

“I am.” Ianto takes a couple of deep breathes then straightens up. “I'm just tired.”

“You're allowed not to be okay,” Jack says, frustration creeping into his voice. 

“I know. I'm not lying to you,” he says wearily, shoulders slumping. “Being like that, afterwards I'm always tired. It feels like I've not slept for a week.” 

A few of the other cafe patrons are looking at them now, and Jack says, “Okay, I believe you. But if you feel like you're going to zone out again tell me.”

Ianto just nods and give him a half hearted smile. 

They walk through the streets as quickly as Ianto's exhausted state will permit, the city busy now that the morning rush has started. They are on the edge of the spaceport, when they hear the roar overhead of a ship taking off. 

The ship is clear against the early morning sunlight, as it wobbles as it climbs steeply, the stabilisation thrusters firing more on one side than the other. 

Jack stops, staring up at it, his eyes widening as his heart sinks. It's Jubel's ship. They're too late.

It brings back too many uncomfortable memories of seeing a different ship, so very long ago now, fading and leaving him behind. 

“Jack?” Ianto catches hold of his arm. “What about the teleport? Is he out of range?”

“Not yet.” He's got about five to ten minutes tops before the ship breaks atmosphere and their chances of a successful teleport drop. 

Looking at the bracelet, Jack sees the interface immediately. It's a simple numerical coordinate dial, all he needs to do is input in the ship's unique ID number they'll be on their way. 

Relieve that he actually knows it, it had been something that he'd had to input several times during the course of repairing Jubel's ships, Jack twists the bevel around the base of the large gem first one way and then the other. 

Inside the red stone a string of numbers starts to appear. Once it's complete Jack reads it through a couple of times, needing to be certain it's right before he activates it. 

As sure as he can be that it's right, he says to Ianto, “Hold on tight, this could be a bit rough.” 

Stepping in close, so that his chest is again Jack's, Ianto wraps his arms about him. 

“Here goes nothing.” Jack presses the smaller green gem, and the by now familiar blue light and crackle of energy surrounds them. 

Rough doesn't really cover the landing, as they are thrown onto the deck with bruising force. But lying on the floor with Ianto safe and on top of him, and Jubel staring at them in amazement, Jack laughs until he cries. They are going home.


	16. Chapter 16

“Hey you made it,” Jubel says cheerfully, setting the controls to auto now that the ship has broken orbit, and Jack and Ianto have got to their feet. “You took your time.”

“You left without us,” Jack points out. He'd like to yell at Jubel, to tell him in no uncertain terms just how pissed off he is over it, but with Sibel looking curiously at him from round the side of one of the flight chairs he really doesn't feel that he can. 

“I waited for a bit,” Jubel says defensively. “I thought you weren't coming. Any way, it's not like you were stuck.” He points to Jack's vortex manipulator. “That's thing's still the fanciest teleport I've ever seen.”

Jack knows there's no way Jubel could know that it hasn't worked in more than a century, he'd made a point of not mentioning it when he'd run into him in the bar, but he still doesn't feel like letting him off that easily. “You only waited this long because you didn't have a choice. Nobody could leave because...” He stops, the botched take off that had caused all the problems at the spaceport suddenly making sense. "That was you, wasn't it?” 

“Would it help if I said I did it on purpose?” 

“There's no way you gridlocked the main spaceport on Aphelion just so you could wait for us,” Jack says. He knows what Jubel's ability with technology is like. He'd panicked and tried to run, and screwed up in the process. 

“Well okay, it was an accident, but it all worked out.” He looks at Jack hopefully. “So we're good, right?” 

Jack sighs. But he can't pretend that being left behind did hurt, hasn't opened up old wounds hat really haven't ever properly healed. He just has to hope when the Doctor eventually returns for him that he's got a better reason than 'oh sorry, but hey it worked out okay so it doesn't matter'. There's nothing to be gained by turning it into an argument as they are still completely reliant on Jubel taking them back to Earth. 

“I'm hungry,” Sibel announces, moving out from behind one of the flight chairs. She tugs at Jubel sleeve. “You said when you weren't flying you'd make food, and you're not flying now.” 

"If you and Jack want to talk, I'm sure I could make something," Ianto says to Jubel. “If you don't mind.” 

"You make some more of that coffee you did on the way here, you can make as much mess in the kitchen as you like.” Jubel takes Sibel's hand, then looks at Jack. “So we're good?” 

“You get us back to Cardiff in one piece and we are.” 

Jubel smiles like alls forgiven and says, “Of course, you can put lay in the route if you want, the auto on this old girl'll get us. Reckon it flies better than I do.” 

Jack just manages to catch himself before he says 'that wouldn't be hard.' This close the to major flight paths into Aphelion, Jack decides it's too risky for them to leave the controls completely unattended, even if Jubel seems unconcerned by it. 

Telling Jubel that though, he knows, won't go down too well, and he says, “How about I fly for a while afterwards? got to keep in practice.” 

“Sure, just mind you don't put the pilot seat right back though, the hinge has gone.” 

“Daddy.” Sibel tugs at his sleeve again. 

“Go on,” Jack says. “I can manage here.” 

Once Ianto, Jubel and Sibel have gone to the ships small kitchen, Jack sits down in the pilots seat. 

Plotting in the course for Earth is easy, and after making sure they're not flying too close to anything else, Jack decides running a check of the systems is in order. He's flown too many ships over the years, and had too many nasty surprises not to. 

Error lights and codes flash here. There are no major faults, he's pleased to note, although they could all do with fixing eventually. He's just finished leaving an automated reminder for Jubel about all of them when Ianto returns. 

“I thought you could do with one,” Ianto says handing him a mug, and then sitting down in the other chair. 

“What's Jubel up to?” Jack asks, gratefully accepting the mug. 

“Sibel's got him playing a 3d hologram drawing game. I think she was winning.” 

Jack laughs fondly. “I had one of those when...” He stops, a wistful, melancholy expression on his face. “It was a long time ago.” 

Ianto murmurs something that might be agreement, and leans back in his seat. 

Turning his attention back to the controls, Jack finds he's relieved that Ianto hadn't thought to question how he'd had such a toy as a child. His past, but especially his childhood are things that are still too hard to think about in detail, without it hurting, without recalling how it all ended. 

“We should be back in Cardiff in a few hours,” he says, needing to change the subject. He looks at his watch, and then realises that with all the travelling they've done the five seventeen shown on the dial has as much chance of being evening as morning. “What do you want to tell the team about where we've been? They're going to have questions, so we'd better get our stories straight.” 

When Ianto doesn't answer Jack looks round. 

Curled onto his side, or as much as the chair will allow him to, his coffee abandoned, Ianto is fast asleep. The lingering exhaustion caused by the psychic shock finally over taking him. 

Jack shakes his head, wishing that sleep could come as easily to himself. It would make the journey back to Earth pass faster. But despite the fact that it's been more than two days since he last slept he finds himself unable to rest, thoughts chasing around his head. 

He could lose his heart to him so in a way he's not dared to in years. Not since Estelle. Sweet, beautiful Estelle, who'd seen the best in everybody and who he'd ran from, scared of what he couldn't give her and that the love they'd shared would turn first to resentment and finally to hate as came to realise just how unnatural he was. 

He'd thought he was protecting her. Only he hadn't, not really, because of him she'd chosen a life alone until she'd finally been killed by the sort of creatures that he was suppose to protect people from. 

But Ianto already has most of the facts, knows the lives they lead, the dangers they face, and has more reason to hate him than perhaps anybody else. Yet he doesn't. He cares about him, was concerned when he thought he was hurt, he tried to reassure and comfort him when he had been the one in need. 

The only thing he knows for certain is that things between them can't return to exactly how they were before when they get back. Too much has changed, the attraction between them becoming far more than innuendo and flirtation. 

Now that they are out of the main shipping routes, Jack switches the ship back to autopilot, and leaves the room, knowing that Ianto can do without him sitting next to him and worrying. 

“I'm going to start the thruster repairs,” Jack calls out to Jubel, who's still in the kitchen with Sibel. 

“Oh right, you want a hand?” 

“I'm good,” Jack says, finding that the opportunity for some time alone is something he actually wants. 

“Give me a shout it anything blows up.” 

“I will.” Jack smiles, as he hears Sibel say, “Now draw a smiley face. No, daddy, with the blue one.”

Then, picking up a tool kit, he sets to work. The power relays for the in atmosphere thrusters are in almost as bad a state as the systems Jack had repaired before they left Cardiff. 

It's good having something that needs all his concentration, something that has definite rights and wrongs and which, when completed, shouldn't feel like a hollow victory. 

His shoulders soon ache from working the confined space and loose wires spark and sting his fingers, but he has a smile on his face when he finally wriggles back out of the narrow access port, the repairs complete. 

After clipping the access hatch back into place, Jack sits down, his back against the wall. Sleep which had seemed so elusive before threatens. Telling himself he'll go back and check on Ianto and auto pilot in a few minutes, he closes his eyes. 

 

* * *

Jack wakes to the sound of footsteps stopping beside him. 

Opening his eyes, he sees Ianto standing next to him, a slightly concerned look on his face. 

“How long have I been asleep?” Jack asks, blinking and rubbing a hand across his eyes. 

“Most of the day,” Ianto says crouching down next to him. 

“Oh.” Jack looks down at the blanket that's been draped over him. “Thanks.”

“Not me, Jubel must have done it. I've not been awake that long myself.” Ianto says, although he still looks like he could do with quite a few more hours rest. “If I had I would have suggested you tried to sleep somewhere a little more comfortable.”

“I've slept in worse places,” Jack says getting to his feet. “I suppose we'd better go and see what he's up to.”

“We'll be over Cardiff in the next hour,” Jubel says, as they walk back onto the bridge.“Where do you want to get dropped off?”

It's tempting to ask to be dropped as close to the Hub as possible, but that would alert Owen, Tosh and Gwen to the ship. At which point the best case scenario would be them finding out they had been aboard, complete with all the awkward questions that would follow. The worst that they would decide it was some kind of threat and bring the ship down or contact UNIT to do it. 

Ianto seems to be thinking along the same lines, and says, “The edge of Cardiff is probably the safest option. There are a number of fields and a golf course in Radyr, so dependent on what time of day we arrive you could probably land there without being too noticeable.” 

“You'll have to show me where that is,” Jubel says, switching the controls back to manual now that they are starting their final approach.

“I know where it is. I don't suppose you want to let me bring her in?” Jack says, moving closer to the controls.

“You still don't trust me,” Jubel says, sounding hurt. 

“Of course I do,” Jack says. He'd like to add 'I absolutely trust that you won't mean to land the ship nose first into a tree but it'll happen anyway' but somehow he doubts that's likely to persuade him to hand over the controls to him until they are safely on the ground, so instead he says, “I just thought you might let me do it for old time sake.” 

Jubel doesn't look entirely convinced, but gets out of the pilot seat, saying, “She's all yours.” 

It's not long before they are dipping down through the cloud cover above Wales, the city lights of the Cardiff growing closer and brighter as they descend. 

Jack drops the ship quickly through the elevations that will show on most radar displays, skimming just above the tree line, until he finally lands the ship in an area of rough just past the ninth hole on the Radyr golf course. 

There's no time for long goodbyes, just in case their present has been detected, so as soon as the landing checks are complete they make their way to the door. 

Jubel and Sibel walk with them to the top of the exit ramp. 

“I've not always been the best friend,” Jubel says pulling Jack into a tight and rather awkward hug. “I want you to know I owe you one. If can ever help, just give me a call.” 

“I might just hold you to that.” Jack smiles, and untangles himself from Jubel, knowing that it's very unlikely that he ever will. 

“Whatever you're doing down there on Earth, keep safe and look after yourself.” He looks over at Ianto. “And look after him too. I've seen what you do for him, and you know he'd do the same for you. I know what you're like for pretty faces and how fast you get bored, but somebody like that don't come along every day, so don't screw it up, or you might find you're regretting it for a long time after.” 

“I will, and believe me, I know.” Seeing that Ianto looks a little uncomfortable at being talked about like this Jack changes the subject. 

“Where will you go now?” Jack asks, realising that this could be the last time he sees Jubel, unless his own circumstance change in the near future and he has the freedom to travel time and the stars once more. 

“I'm going to head out to the Bleen corridor worlds, there's plenty of short hop courier jobs to be had while the terraforming is going on. Won't make a fortune, but it'll be enough to see us right.”   
Jubel smiles, and picks up Sibel. “Time I tried earning an honest living, at least for a while. Any way, Sibel needs more of a life than I can give her aboard this old crate. She needs friends, school, the chance to run around outside.”

“I hope it works out for you, I really do,” Jack says and then walks down the ramp, letting Ianto make his goodbyes. 

Sibel is still smiling and waving enthusiastically, once Ianto has joined him outside the ship, and the ramp pulls back. 

Standing together at the edge of the thin strip of woodland they watch Jubel's ship until it's just another speck of light in the night sky. 

“What time is it?” Ianto asks, once the ship is out of sight. 

“Nearly midnight.” Interplanetary jet lag is something he's definitely not missing while living life on the slow path. 

Ianto yawns, and digs his hands into his pockets. “At least it not a long walk.” 

The night is cool and clear as they walk into Radyr, the residential streets quiet apart from the occasional car or taxi that passes them.

It seems strange walking Ianto to his door. The last time he'd been there was after Brynblaidd when he'd driven Ianto home, and had been politely refused when he'd offered to come in. 

It's quite a walk back to the Hub, and Jack suspects the last train for the nearby station has long since left for the night. 

“You could come in for some coffee, if you like,” Ianto says, once he's opened the door and Jack has made no move to go inside. 

Jack grins. “Is that for actual coffee or...” 

“Actual coffee,” Ianto interrupts, although there's a hint of amusement in his voice. “We need to talk.”

“I know,” Jack says, following him into the house, trying not to think too hard about what the topic of conversation will be. 

Bypassing the living room, Ianto heads straight for the kitchen, and soon the kettle is filled and switched on. 

Jack doesn't interrupt, letting him run through what is obviously a familiar routine. Having something normal, something that grounds him back into ordinary life, something safe, is of more value than anything he can say right now. 

Ianto pours coffee beans into a grinder, and rich, heady scent of freshly ground fills the small kitchen. Transferring the grounds to a cafetiere and adding hot water, Ianto says, “It'll need a couple of minutes, so if you'll excuse me.”

“Sure, I'll wait here.” 

While Ianto is gone, Jack looks around the kitchen. It's clean and tidy, yet definitely lived in. A few dates are circled on a calender hung on a cupboard door, although what they're marking he has no idea. While on the dresser in the corner there pictures vie for space with the plates. They're family photographs, Jack suspects, there's definitely a likeness between the people in them and Ianto. He's never heard him speak about any of them, but then again he's never given Ianto the opportunity to or shown any sign that he might be interested in listening to him if he did. 

Ianto returns a couple of minutes later dressed in faded jeans and baggy hooded top that looks like its seen better days. Out of his suit like this, Jack thinks, he looks even younger than he usually does.

“So what do you want to talk about?” Jack asks, suddenly feeling far more nervous than he thinks he's got any right to be. 

“Torchwood. My place on the team,” Ianto says, pouring their drinks. Then picking up his mug he walking through to the living room. 

“You're still on the team, nothing that's happened changes that,” Jack says, following him, uncertainty at where this is going growing. “Unless you want to leave.” 

“I think we both know that's just about unheard of,” Ianto says, sitting down on the sofa. “And no, that's not what I want to ask. 

“If it's acceptable I'd rather not tell the rest of the team about this just yet. I really don't think they'll understand.” 

The longer it's kept a secret through, Jack knows, the harder it becomes to talk about it. But perhaps Ianto is right and now is too soon. So he says, “Alright, if it's what you want. ” 

“It is,” Ianto says with a relieved smile. “And thank you.” 

“Are you going to be alright coming back to work tomorrow?” Jack asks, seeing how tired Ianto still looks, an extra day off would be easy enough to account for without arousing the teams suspicions.

“Today,” Ianto says, looking at the clock. “Work starts in just over seven hours time.” 

“That's not an answer.”

“I know.” He sighs and leans back on the sofa.

“You told me that small groups of people are worse than crowds for you, how do you normally deal with it?” 

“I try to get time away from everybody before it gets too much. I just go and work in the tourist office or the archives. It's got me through the day more than once.” He puts his mug down. “I've not had any time to myself in the past three days, and that on top of everything else really hasn't helped.” 

“Do you want me to go?” Jack asks, wondering if he's hinting that he's had enough of his company. 

“Right now?” Ianto shakes his head. “No, I don't think that would be the best idea, not yet.” 

It's the first real hint of insecurity in his own ability to tough out alone against everything that life throws at him. 

Wanting to turn the conversation back towards something more positive Jack says, “We can start working through some of the telepath blocking exercises tomorrow, if you feel up to it. Try and find out which ones we can adapt.” 

“That's probably a good idea.” 

There's almost no enthusiasm in Ianto's voice, and Jack moves closer to him. “What's wrong?” 

“What if I can't do it?” Ianto says, eyes downcast. “What then?”

It's not something that Jack really even wants to consider, and he says, “Then you'll just have to work in the Hub until you can.”

“You really think it's that simple?” he says, fear making it come our bitter. 

“I'm not giving up on you.” 

“You really mean that.” Ianto's eyes widen, surprise and wonder in his voice. 

“You'd better believe it.” 

They've moved closer the whole conversation and until now there almost no distance between them and Jack can feel Ianto's breath warm against his skin. For a moment he's sure that something will interrupt them as it has every time they've been this close before. 

Nervous, eager, Ianto runs his tongue along his lips, eyes locked with Jack's. 

“I don't bite.” Jack smiles at him, hoping that he'll make the first move. “Well, not unless you want me to.”

Ianto laughs, any lingering traces of tension broken, and he leans forward. 

His are lips soft and warm and there's the faint scratch of stubble as they kiss, and Jack slides his hand against the back of his neck, fingers sliding into his hair. It's as natural as breathing, and if the way Ianto is relaxing into it, eyes half closed, he's not having any problems with either, Jack thinks happily. 

Slow and sure, he lets Ianto set the pace, happy to let him take all the time he needs to explore. Slow eventually become an almost complete stop, and Jack realises that Ianto eyes have drifted closed and he's almost half asleep against him.

Reluctantly, he pulls back from the kiss. Because despite Ianto's initial enthusiasm it's obvious that he's still exhausted from everything that has happened, the need for more sleep is fast winning out over both desire and the effects of caffeine. 

“I should go, let you get some sleep,” Jack says, getting up to go. “I can call a cab.” 

“Don't.” Ianto catches hold of his hand. His eyes weary when he opens them, but certain of what he's asking is still clear. “Stay.” 

Jack looks down at their linked hands. This more than the kiss, even if nothing more happens between them tonight, is where everything changes. There are so many reasons why he should just walk away, to protect Ianto, to protect himself, to spare them both the pain and loss he's come to expect from letting anybody into his heart. 

Yet he can't, because it feels more right than anything has for a very long time. He's been lost and lonely for far too many years, everything piling up until it feels like he's drowning in the uncertainty of it all. So he simply says. “Yes.” 

This is the start of something between them, something new, and Jack has no idea where it will take them, but with Ianto there beside him he thinks that maybe everything might just turn out okay in the end.

 

The End.

 

For now at least at any rate. I might end up revisiting this 'verse at some point in the future though, but it's not likely to be particularly soon as there's a couple of other 'verses that need me to write their sequels first :) (Namely the virtual series that follows on from Secrets and Hope, and the sequel to Things Lost and Found Along the Way.)


End file.
